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Epic Cash AMA Recap with CryptoDiffer Community

CryptoDiffer team Hello, everyone! We are glad to meet here: Max Freeman (@maxfreeman4), Project Lead at Epic Cash Yoga Dude (@Yogadude), PR&Marketing at Epic Cash Xenolink (@Xenolink), Advisor at Epic Cash
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash Thanks Max, we are excited to be here!
Yoga Dude PR&Marketing at Epic Cash Hello Everyone! Thank you for having us here!
Xenolink Advisor at Epic Cash Thank you to the CryptoDiffer team and CryptoDiffer community for hosting us!
CryptoDiffer team Let`s start from the first introduction question: Q1: Can you introduce yourself to the community? What is your background and how did you join Epic Cash?
Yoga Dude PR&Marketing at Epic Cash
Hello! My background is Marketing and Business Development, I’ve been in crypto since 2011 started with Bitcoin, then Monero in 2014, Ethereum in 2015 and at some point Doge for fun and profit. I joined Epic Cash team in September 2019 handling PR and Marketing.
I saw in Epic Cash what was missing in my previous cryptos — things that were missing in Bitcoin and Monero especially.
Xenolink Advisor at Epic Cash
Hello Cryptodiffer Community, I am not an original co-founder nor am I a developer for the Epic Cash project. I am however a community member that is involved in helping scale this project to higher levels. One of the many beauties of Epic Cash is that every single member in the community has the opportunity to be part of EPIC’s team, it can be from development all the way to content producing. Epic Cash is a community driven project. The true Core Team of Epic Cash is our community. I believe a community that is the Core Team is truly powerful. EPIC Cash has one of the freshest and strongest communities I have seen in quite a while. Which is one of the reasons why I became involved in this project. Epic displayed some of the most self community produced content I have seen in a project. I’m actually a doctor of medicine but in terms of my experience in crypto, I have been involved in the industry since 2012 beginning with mining Litecoin. Since then I have been doing deep dive analysis on different projects, investing, and building a network in crypto that I will utilize to help connect and scale Epic in every way I can. To give some credit to those people in my network that have been a part of helping give Epic exposure, I would like to give a special thanks to u/Tetsugan and u/Saurabhblr. Tetsugan has been doing a lot of work for the Japanese community to penetrate the Japanese market, and Japan has already developed a growing interest in Epic. Daku Sarabh the owner and creator of Crypto Daku Robinhooders, I would like to thank him and his community for giving us one of our first large AMA’s, which he has supported our project early and given us a free AMA. Many more to thank but can’t be disclosed. Also thank you to all the Epic Community leaders, developers, and Content producers!
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
I’m Max Freeman, which stands for “Maximum Freedom for Mankind”. I started working on the ideas that would become Epic in 2018. I fell in love with Bitcoin in 2017 but realized that it needs privacy at the base layer, fungibility, better scalability in order to go to the next level.
CryptoDiffer team
Really interesting backgrounds I must admit, pleasure to see the team that clearly has one vision of the project by being completely decentralized:)
Q2: Can you briefly describe what is Epic Cash in 3–5 sentences? What technology stands behind Epic Cash and why it’s better than the existing one?
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
I’d like to highlight the differences between Epic and the two highest-valued privacy coin projects, Monero and Zcash. XMR has always-on privacy like Epic does, but at a cost: Its blockchain is over 20x more data intensive than Epic, which limits its possibilities for scalability. Epic’s blockchain is small and light enough to run a full node on cell phones, something that is in our product road map. ZEC by comparison can’t run on low end devices because of its zero knowledge based approach, and only 1% of transactions are fully private. Epic is simply newer, more advanced technology than prior networks thanks to Mimblewimble
We will also add more algorithms to widen the range of hardware that can participate in mining. For example, cell phones and tablets based around ARM chips. Millions of people can mine Epic that can’t mine Bitcoin, and that will help grow the network rapidly.
There are some great short videos on our YouTube channel
that explain why we believe we have created something truly special here.
Our core architecture derives from Grin, so we are fortunate to benefit on an ongoing basis from their considerable development efforts. We are focused on making our currency truly usable and widely available, beyond a store of value and becoming a true medium of exchange.
Yoga Dude PR&Marketing at Epic Cash
Well we all have our views, but in a nutshell, we offer things that were missing in the previous cryptos. We have sound fiscal emission schedule matching Bitcoin, but we are vastly more private and faster. Our blockchain is lighter than Bitcoin or Monero and our tech is more scalable. Also, we are unique in that we are mineable with CPUs and GPUs as well as ASICs, giving the broadest population the ability to mine Epic Cash. Plus, you can’t forget FUNGIBILITY 🙂 we are big on that — since you can’t have true privacy without fungibility.
Also, please understand, we have HUGE respect to all the cryptos that came before us, we learned a lot from them, and thanks to their mistakes we evolved.
Xenolink Advisor at Epic Cash
To add on, what also makes Epic Cash unique is the ability to decentralize the mining using a tri-algo model of Random X (CPU), Progpow (GPU), and Cuckoo (ASIC) for an ability to do hybrid mining. I believe this is an issue we can see today in Bitcoin having centralized mining and the average user has a costly barrier of entry.
To follow up on this one in my opinion one of the things we adopted that we have seen success for , in example Bitcoin and Monero, is a strong community driven coin. I believe having a community driven coin will provide a more organic atmosphere especially when starting with No ICO, or Premine with a fair distribution model for everyone.
CryptoDiffer team
Q3: What are the major milestones Epic Cash has achieved so far? Maybe you can share with us some exciting plans for future weeks/months?
Yoga Dude PR&Marketing at Epic Cash
Since we went live in September of 2019, we attracted a very large community of users, miners, investors and contributors from across the world. Epic Cash is a very international project with white papers translated into over 30 languages. We are very much a community driven project; this is very evident from our content and the amount of translations in our white papers and in our social media content.
We are constantly working on improving our usability, security and privacy, as well as getting our message and philosophy out into the world to achieve mass adoption. We have a lot of exciting plans for our project, the plan is to make Epic Cash into something that is More than Money.
You can tell I am the Marketing guy since my message is less about the actual tech and more about the usability and use cases for Epic Cash, I think our Team and Community have a great mix of technical, practical, social and fiscal experiences. Since we opened our YouTube channels content for community submissions, we have seen our content translated into Spanish, French, German, Polish, Chinese, Japanese, Arabic, Russian, and other languages
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
Our future development roadmap will be published soon and includes 4 tracks:
Core Protocol
Ecosystem Development
Core Protocol
Epic Server 2.9.0 — this release improves the difficulty adjustment and is aimed at making block emission closer to the target 60 seconds, particularly reducing the incidence of extremely short and long blocks — Status: In Development (Testing) Anticipated Release: June 2020
Epic Server 3.0.0 — this completes the rebase to Grin 3.0.0 and serves as the prerequisite to some important functional building blocks for the future of the ecosystem. Specifically, sending via Tor (which eliminates the need to open ports), proof of payment (useful for certain dex applications e.g. Bisq), and our native mobile app. Status: In Development (Testing) Anticipated Release: Fall 2020
Non-Interactive Transactions — this will enhance usability by enabling “fire and forget” send-to-address functionality that users are accustomed to from most cryptocurrencies. Status: Drawing Board Anticipated Release: n/a
Scaling Options — when blocks start becoming full, how will we increase capacity? Two obvious options are increasing the block size, as well as a Lightning Network-style Layer 2 structure. Status: Drawing Board Anticipated Release: n/a
Confidential Assets — Similar to Raven, Tari, and Beam, the ability to create independently tradable assets that ride on the Epic Blockchain. Status: Drawing Board Anticipated Release: n/a
GUI Wallet 2.0 — Restore from seed words and various usability enhancements — Status: Needs Assessment Anticipated Release: Fall 2020
Mobile App — Native mobile experience for iOS and Android. Status: In Development (Testing) Anticipated Release: Winter 2020
Telegram Integration — Anonymous payments over the Telegram network, bot functionality for groups. Status: Drawing Board Anticipated Release: n/a
RandomX on ARM — Our 4th PoW algorithm, this will enable tablets, cell phones, and low power devices such as Raspberry Pi to participate in mining. Status: Needs Assessment Anticipated Release: n/a
The economics of mining Epic are extremely compelling for countries that have free or extremely cheap electricity, since anyone with an ordinary PC can mine. Individual people around the world can simply run the miner and earn meaningful money (imagine Venezuela for example), something that has not been possible since the very early days of Bitcoin.
Ecosystem Development
Atomic Swaps — Connecting Epic to other blockchains in a trustless way, starting with ETH so that Epic can trade on DeFi infrastructure such as Uniswap, Kyber, etc. Status: Drawing Board Anticipated Release: n/a
Xenolink Advisor at Epic Cash
From the Community aspect, we have been further developing our community international reach. We have been seeing an increase in interest from South America, China, Russia, Japan, Italy, and the Philippines. We are working on targeting more countries. We truly aim to be a decentralized project that is open to everyone worldwide.
CryptoDiffer team
Great, thank you for your answers, we now can move to community questions part!
Cryptodiffer Community
You have 3 mining algorithms, the question is: how do they not compete with each other? Is there any benefit of mining on the GPU and CPU if someone is mining on the ASIC?
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
The block selection is deterministic, so that every 100 blocks, 60% are for RandomX (CPU), 38% for ProgPow (GPU), and 2% for Cuckoo (ASIC) — the policy is flexible so that we can have as many algorithms with any percentages we want. The goal is to make the most decentralized and resilient network possible, and with that in mind we are excited to work on enabling tablets and cell phones to mine, since that opens it up to millions of people that otherwise can’t take part.
Cryptodiffer Community
To Run a project smoothly, Funding is very important, From where does the Funding/revenue come from?
Xenolink Advisor at Epic Cash
Yes, early on this was realized and in order to scale a project funds are indeed needed. Epic Cash did not start with any funding and no ICO and was organically genesis mined with no pre-mine. Epic cash is also a nonprofit community driven project similar to Monero. There is no profit-driven entity in the picture. To overcome the revenue issue Epic Cash setup a development fund tax that decreases 1% every year until 2028 when Epic Cash reaches singularity with Bitcoin emissions. Currently it is at 7.77%. This will help support the scaling of the project.
Cryptodiffer Community
Hi! In your experience working also with MONERO can you please clarify which are those identified problems that EPIC CASH aims to develop and resolve? What’s the main advantage that EPIC CASH has over MONERO? Thank you!
Yoga Dude PR&Marketing at Epic Cash
First, I must admit that I am still a huge fan and HODLer of Monero. That said:
✅ our blockchain is MUCH lighter than Monero’s
✅ our transaction processing speed is much faster
✅ our address-less blockchain is more private
✅ Epic Cash can be mined with CPU (RandomX) GPU (ProgPow) and Cuckoo, whereas Monero migrated to RandomX and currently only mineable with CPU
Cryptodiffer Community
  1. the feature ‘Cut Through’ deletes old data, how is it decided which data will be deletes, and what are the consequences of it for the platform and therefore the users?
  2. On your website I see links to download Epic wallet and mining software for Linux,Windows and MacOs, I am a user of android, is there a version for me, or does it have a release date?
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
  1. This is one of the most exciting features of Mimblewimble, which is its extraordinary ability to compress blockchain data. In Bitcoin, the entire history of a coin must be replayed every time it is spent, and comprehensive details are permanently stored in the blockchain. Epic discards spent transaction inputs and consolidates outputs, storing neither addresses or amounts, only a tiny kernel to allow sender and receiver to prove their transaction.
  2. The Vitex mobile app is great for today, and we have a native mobile app for iOS and Android in the works as well.
Cryptodiffer Community
$EPIC Have total Supply of 21,000,000 EPIC , is there any burning plan? Or Buyback program to maintain $EPIC price in the future?
Who is Epic Biggest competitors?
And what’s makes epic better than competitors?
Xenolink Advisor at Epic Cash
We respect the older generation coins like Bitcoin. But we have learned that the supply economics of Bitcoin is very sound. Until today we can witness how the Bitcoin is being adopted institutionally and by retail. We match the 21 million BTC supply economics because it is an inelastic fixed model which makes the long-term economics very sound. To have an elastic model of burning tokens or printing tokens will not have a solid economic future. Take for example the USD which is an inflating supply. In terms of competitors we look at everyone in crypto with respect and also learn from everyone. If we had to compare to other Mimblewimble tech coins, Grin is an inelastic forever inflating supply which in the long term is not sound economics. Beam however is an inelastic model but is formed as a corporation. The fair distribution is not there because of the permanent revenue model setup for them. Epic Cash a non-profit development tax fund model for scaling purposes that will disappear by 2028’s singularity.
Cryptodiffer Community
What your plans in place for global expansion, are you focusing on only market at this time? Or focus on building and developing or getting customers and users, or partnerships?
Yoga Dude PR&Marketing at Epic Cash
Since we are a community project, we have many developers, in addition to the core team.
Our plans for Global expansion are simple — we have advocates in different regions addressing their audiences in their native languages. We are growing organically, by explaining our ideology and usability. The idea is to grow beyond needing a fiat bridge for crypto use, but to rather replace fiat with our borderless, private and fungible crypto so people can use it to get goods and services without using banks.
We are not limiting ourselves to one particular demographic — Epic Cash is a valid solution for the gamers, investors, techie and non techie people, and the unbanked.
Cryptodiffer Community
EPIC confidential coin! Did you have any problems with the regulators? And there will be no problems with listing on centralized exchanges?
Xenolink Advisor at Epic Cash
In terms of structure, we are carefully set up to minimize these concerns. Without a company or investors in the picture, and having raised no funds, there is little scope to attack in terms of securities laws. Bitcoin and Ethereum are widely acknowledged as acceptable, and we follow in their well-established footprints in that respect. Centralized exchanges already trade other privacy coins, so we don’t see this as much of an issue either. In general, decentralized p2p exchange options are more interesting than today’s centralized platforms. They are more censorship resistant, secure, and privacy-protecting. As the technology gets better, they should continue to gain market share and that’s why we’re proud to be partnered with Vitex, whose exchange and mobile app work very well.
Cryptodiffer Community
What are the main utility and real-life usage of the #EPIC As an investor, why should we invest in the #EPIC project as a long-term investment?
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
Because our blockchain is so light (only 1.16gb currently, and grows very slowly) it is naturally well suited to become a decentralized mobile money standard because people can run a full node on their phone, guaranteeing the security of their funds. Scalability in Bitcoin requires complicated and compromised workarounds such as Lightning Network and light clients, and these problems are solved in Epic.
With our forthcoming Mobile Mining app, hundreds of millions of cell phones and tablets will be able to easily join the network. People can quickly and cheaply send money to one another, fulfilling the long-envisioned promise of P2P electronic cash.
As an investor, it’s important to ask a few key questions. Bitcoin Standard tokenomics of disinflation and a fixed supply are well proven over a decade now. We follow this model exactly, with a permanently synchronized supply from 2028, and 4 emission halvings from now until then, with our first one in about two weeks. Beyond that, we can apply some simple logical tests. What is more valuable, money that can only be used in some cases (censorable Bitcoin based on a lack of fungibility) or money that can be used universally? (fungible Epic based on always-on privacy by default). Epic is also poised to be a more decentralized and therefore resilient network because of wider participation in mining. Epic is designed to be Bitcoin++ Privacy, Fungibility, Scalability
Cryptodiffer Community
Q1. What are advantages for choosing three mining algorithms RandomX+, ProgPow and CuckAToo31+ ?
Q2. Beam and Grin use MimbleWimble protocol, so what are difference for Epic? All of you will be friends for partners or competitors?
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
RandomX and ProgPow are designed to use the entirety of a CPU / GPU’s unique processing capabilities in a way that other types of hardware don’t work as well. You can run RandomX on a GPU but it doesn’t work nearly as well as a much cheaper CPU, for example. Cuckoo is a “memory hard” algorithm that widens the range of companies that can produce the hardware.
Grin and Beam are great projects and we’ve learned a lot from them. We inherited our first codebase from Grin’s excellent Rust design, which is a better language for community participation than C++ that Beam currently uses.
Functionally, Mimblewimble is similar across the 3 coins, with standard Confidential Transactions, CoinJoin, Dandelion++, Schnorr Signatures and other advanced features. Grin is primarily ASIC-targeted, Beam is GPU-targeted, and Epic is multi-hardware.
The biggest differences though are in tokenomics and project structure. Grin has permanent inflation of 60 coins per block with no halvings, which means steady erosion of value over time due to new supply pressure. It also lacks a steady funding model, making future development in jeopardy, particularly as the per coin price falls. Beam has a for-profit model with heavy early inflation and a high developer tax. Epic builds on the strengths of these earlier mimblewimble projects and addresses the parts that could be improved.
Cryptodiffer Community Some privacy coin has scalability issues! How Epic cash will solve scalability issues? Why you choose randomX consensus algorithem?
Xenolink Advisor at Epic Cash
Fungibility means that you can’t distinguish one unit of currency from another, in example Gold. Fungibility has recently become a hot issue as people have been noticing Bitcoins being locked up by exchanges which may of had a nefarious history which are called Tainted Coins. In example coins that have been involved in a hack, darknet market transactions, or even processing coin through a mixer. Today we can already see freshly mined Bitcoins being sold at a premium price to avoid the fungibility problem Bitcoin carries today. Bitcoin can be tracked by chainalysis and is not a fungible cryptocurrency. One of the features that Epic has is privacy with added fungibility, because of Mimblewimble technology, Epic has no addresses recorded and therefore nothing can be tracked by chainalysis. Below I provide a link of an example of what the lack of fungibility is resulting in today with Bitcoin. One of the reasons why we chose the Random X algo. is because of the easy barrier of entry and also to further decentralize the mining. Random X algo can be mined on old computers or laptops. We also have 2 other algos Progpow (GPU), and Cuckoo (ASIC) to create a wider decentralization of mining methods for Epic.
Cryptodiffer Community
I’m a newbie in crypto and blockchain so how will Epic Cash team target and educate people who don’t know about blockchain and crypto?
What is the uniqueness of Epic Cash that cannot be found in other project that´s been released so far ?
Yoga Dude Pr&Marketing at Epic Cash
Actually, while we have our white paper translated into over 30 languages, we are more focused on explaining our uses and advantages rather than cold specs. Our tech is solid, but we not get hung up on pure tech talk which most casual users do not need to or care to understand. As long as our fundamentals and tech are secure and user friendly our primary goal is to educate about use cases and market potential.
The uniqueness of Epic Cash is its amalgamation of “whats good” in other cryptos. We use Mimblewimble for privacy and anonymity. Our blockchain is much lighter than our competitors. We are the only Mimblewimble crypto to use a unique cocktail of mining algorithms allowing to be mined by casual miners with gaming rigs and laptops, while remaining friendly to GPU and CPU farmers.
The “uniqueness” is learning from the mistakes of those who came before us, we evolved and learned, which is why our privacy is better, we are faster, we are fungible, we offer diverse mining and so on. We are the best blend — thats powerful and unique
Cryptodiffer Community
Can you share EPIC’s vision for decentralized finance (DEFI)? What features do EPIC have to support DEFI?
Yoga Dude PR&Marketing at Epic Cash
We view Epic as ideally suited to be the decentralized digital reserve asset of the new Private Internet of Money that’s emerging. At a technology level, atomic swaps can be created to build liquidity bridges so that wrapped Epic tokens (like WBTC, WETH) can trade on other networks as ERC20, BEP2, NEP5, VIP180, Algorand and so on. There is more Bitcoin value locked on Ethereum than in Lightning Network, so we will similarly integrate Epic so that it can trade on networks such as Uniswap, Kyber, and so on.
Longer term, if there is market demand for it, thanks to Scriptless Script functionality our blockchain has, we can build “Confidential Assets” (which Raven, Tari, and Beam are all also working on) that enable people to create tokenized assets in a private way.
Cryptodiffer Community
If you could choose one celebrity to promote Epic-cash, who that would be?
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
I am a firm believer that the strength of the project lies in allowing community members to become their own celebrities, if their content is good enough the community will propel them to celebrity status. Organic celebrities with small but loyal following are vastly more beneficial than big name professional shills with inflated but non caring audiences.
I remember the early days of Apple when an enthusiastic dude named Guy Kawasaki became Apple Evangelist, he was literally going around stores that sold Apple and visited user groups and Evangelized his belief in Apple. This guy became a Legend and helped Apple become what it is today.
Epic Cash will have its OWN Celebrities
Cryptodiffer Community
How does $EPIC solve scalability of transactions? Current blockchains face issues with scalability a lot, how does $EPIC creates a solution to it?
Xenolink Advisor at Epic Cash
Epic Cash is utilizing Mimblewimble technology. Besides the privacy & fungibility aspect of the tech. There is the scalability features of it. It is implemented into Epic by transaction cut-through. Which means it allows nodes to remove all intermediate transactions, thus significantly reducing the blockchain size without affecting its validation. Mimblewimble also does not use addresses like a BTC address, and amount of transactions are also not recorded. One problem Monero and Bitcoin are facing now is scalability. It is evident today that data is getting more expensive and that will be a problem in the long run for those coins. Epic is 90% lighter and more scalable compared to Monero and Bitcoin.
Cryptodiffer Community
what are the ways that Epic Cash generates profits/revenue to maintain your project and what is its revenue model ? How can it make benefit win-win to both invester and your project ?
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
There is a block subsidy of 7.77% that declines 1.11% per year until 0, where it stays after that. As a nonprofit community effort, this extremely modest amount goes much further than in other projects, which often take 20, 30, even 50+ % of the coin supply. We believe that this ongoing funding model best aligns the long term incentives for all participants and balances the compromises between the ends of the centralized/decentralized spectrum of choices that any project must make.
Cryptodiffer Community
Q1 : What are your major goals to archive in the next 3–4 years?
Q2 : What are your plans to expand and gain more adoption?
Yoga Dude Pr&Marketing at Epic Cash
Max already talked about our technical plans and goals in his roadmap. Allow me to talk more about the non technical 😁
We are aiming for broader reach in the non technical more mainstream community — this is a big challenge but we believe it is doable. By offering simpler ways to mine Epic Cash (with smart phones for example), and by doing more education we will achieve the holy grail of crypto — moving past the fiat bridges and getting Epic Cash to be accepted as means of payment for goods and services. We will accomplish this by working with regional advocacy groups, community interaction, off-line promotional activities and diverse social media targeting.
Cryptodiffer Community
It seems to me that EpicCash will have its first Halving, right? Why a halving so soon?
Is a mobile version feasible?
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
Our supply emission catches up to that of Bitcoin’s first 19 years after 8 years in Epic, so that requires more frequent halvings. Today’s block emission is 16, next up are 8, 4, 2, and then finally 0.15625. After that, the supply of Epic and that of BTC stay synchronized until maxing out at 21m coins in 2140.
Today we have a mobile wallet through the Vitex app, a native mobile wallet coming, and are working on mobile mining.
Cryptodiffer Community
What markets will you add after that?
Yoga Dude PR&Marketing at Epic Cash
Well, we are aiming to have ALL markets
Epic Cash in its final iteration will be usable by everyone everywhere regardless of their technical expertise. We are not limiting ourselves to the technocrats, one of our main goals is to help the billions of unbanked. We want everyone to be able to mine, buy, and most of all USE Epic Cash — gamers, farmers, soccer moms, students, retirees, everyone really — even bankers (well once we defeat the banking industry)
We will continue building on the multilingual diversity of our global community adding support and advocacy groups in more countries in more languages.
Epic Cash is More than Money and its for Everyone.
Cryptodiffer Community
Almost, all cryptocurrencies are decentralized & no-one knows who owns that cryptocurrencies ! then also, why Privacy is needed? hats the advantages of Private coins?
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
With a public transparent blockchain such as Bitcoin, you are permanently posting a detailed history of your money movements open for anyone to see (not just legitimate authorities, either!) — It would be considered crazy to post your credit card or bank statements to Twitter, but that’s what is happening every time you send a transaction that is not private. This excellent video from community contributor Spencer Lambert\_4 explains better than I can.
Privacy is not just for criminals, it’s for everyone. Do you want your landlord to increase the rent when he sees that you get a raise? Your insurance company to raise your healthcare costs because they see you buying too much ice cream? If you’re a business, do you want your employees to see how much money their coworkers make? Do you want your competitors to trace your supplier and customer relationships? Of course not. By privacy being default for everyone, cryptocurrency can be used in a much wider range of situations without unacceptable compromises.
Cryptodiffer Community
What are the main utility and real-life usage of the #EPIC As an investor, why should we invest in the #EPIC project as a long-term investment?
Xenolink Advisor at Epic Cash
Epic Cash can be used as a Private and Fungible store of value, medium of exchange, and unit of account. As Epic Cash grows and becomes adopted it can be compared to how Bitcoin and Monero is used and adopted as well. As Epic is adopted by the masses, it can be accepted as a medium of exchange for store owners and as fungible payments without the worry of having money that is tainted. Epic Cash as a store of value may be a good long term aspect of investment to consider. Epic Cash carries an inelastic fixed supply economic model of 21 million coins. There will be 5 halvings which this month of June will be our first halving of epic. From a block reward of 16 Epic reduced to 8. If we look at BTC’s price action and history of their halvings it has been proven and show that there has been an increase in value due to the scarcity and from halvings a reduction of # of BTC’s mined per block. An inelastic supply model like Bitcoin provides proof of the circulating supply compared to the total supply by the history of it’s Price action which is evident in long term charts since the birth of Bitcoin. EPIC Plans to have 5 halvings before the year 2028 to match the emissions of Bitcoin which we call the singularity event. Below is a chart displaying our halvings model approaching singularity. Once bitcoin and cryptocurrency becomes adopted mainstream, the fungibility problem will be more noticed by the general public. Privacy coins and the features of fungibility/scalability will most likely be sought over. Right now a majority of people believe that all cryptocurrency is fungible. However, that is not true. We can already see Chainalysis confirming that they can trace and track and even for other well-known privacy coins today such as Z-Cash.
Cryptodiffer Community
  1. You aim to reach support from a global community, what are your plans to get spanish speakers involved into Epic Cash? And emerging markets like the african
  2. How am I secure I won’t be affected by receiving tainted money?
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
Native speakers from our community are working to raise awareness in key markets such as mining in Argentina and Venezuela for Spanish (Roberto Navarro called Epic “the holy grail of cryptocurrency” and Ethiopia and certain North African countries that have the lowest electricity costs in the world. Remittances between USA and Latin American countries are expensive and slow, so Epic is also perfect for people to send money back home as well.
Cryptodiffer Community
Do EPICs in 2020 focus more on research and coding, or on sales and implementation?
Yoga Dude PR&Marketing at Epic Cash
We will definitely continue to work on research and coding, with emphasis on improved accessibility (especially via smartphones) usability, security and privacy.
In terms of financial infrastructure will continuing to add exchanges both KYC and non KYC.
Big part of our plans is in ongoing Marketing and PR outreach. The idea is to make Epic Cash a viral sensation of sorts. If we can get Epic Cash adopters to spread the word and tell their family, coworkers and friends about Epic Cash — there will be no stopping us and to help that happen we have a growing army of content creators, and supporters.
Everyone with skin in the game gets the benefit of advancing the cause.
Folks also, this isn’t an answer to the question but an example of a real-world Epic Cash content —
a challenge from one of our content creators to beat his 21 pull ups and get 100 epics! This has not been claimed yet — people need to step up 🙂 and to help that I will match another 100 Epic Cash to the first person to beat this
Cryptodiffer Community
I was watching some videos explaining how to send and receive transactions in EpicCash, which consists of ports and sending links, my question is why this is so, which, for now, looks complex?
Let’s talk about the economic model, can EpicCash comply with the concept of value reserve?
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
In V3, which is coming later this summer, Epic can be sent over Tor, which eliminates this issue of port opening, even though using tools like, it’s not necessarily as painful as directly configuring the router ports. Early Lightning Network had this issue as well and it’s something we have a plan to address via research into non-interactive transactions. “Fire and Forget” payments to an address, as people are used to in Bitcoin, is coming to Epic and we’re excited to develop functionality that other advanced mimblewimble coins don’t yet have. We are committed to constant improvement in usability and utility, to make our money system the ease of use leader.
We are involved in the project (anyone can join the Freeman Family) because we believe that simply by choosing to use a form of money that better aligns with our ideals, that we can make a positive change in the world. Some of my thoughts about how I got involved are here:
Max Freeman Project Lead at Epic Cash
Huge thanks to our friends Maks and Vladyslav, we welcome everyone to come say hi at one of our friendly communities. It is extremely early in this journey, our market cap is only 0.5m right now, whereas the 3 other mimblewimble coins are at $20m, $30m and $100m respectively. Epic is a historic opportunity to follow in the footsteps of legends such as Bitcoin and Monero, and we hope to become the first Top 5 privacy coin project.
Xenolink Advisor at Epic Cash
Would like to Thank the Cryptodiffer Team and the Cryptodiffer community for hosting us and also engaging with us to learn more about Epic. If anyone else has more questions and wants to know more about EPIC , can find us at our telegram channel at .
Yoga Dude Pr&Marketing at Epic Cash
Thank you, CryptoDiffer Team, and this wonderful Community!!!
Cryptodiffer TEAM
Thank you everyone for taking your time and asking great questions
Thank you for your time, it was an insightful session
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Pretty sure some of my current health issues are due to taking Cipro 4 years ago

So I've recently had a bunch of tendons, muscles, and joints start bothering me at once, for no obvious reason(by this I mean clear physical injury, I have some thoughts on why this specifically happened now which I'll mention later), and upon researching what could cause this, and tests for RA and Lupus coming back negative, I stumbled upon FQ toxicitiy and remembered that I took a course of it 3 years and 9 months ago.

Here is a history of then to now

I had just gotten back from some international travel and had a fever that lasted several days in a row, coming and going. All fevers I remembered having prior went away completely once they had broken, and given the travel I was a bit concerned it could be some weird exotic illness or something. Now I had moved to a new state a few years before this, and I had gone to a PCP once or twice, but didn't have a long standing relationship with them, so instead of calling them and making an appointment I just went to a nearby urgent care clinic. I also googled what could cause a fever to come and go for several days and came across Kidney infections as a possible cause. At the urgent care place I think I asked about that, so even though my fever was minor and almost certainly viral, they decided to run a urine sample and they prescribed me a course of Cipro to take just in case while they waited for the results. I took it, the fever went away in the next day or two, and about a week later they messaged me saying the results came back negative and I could stop taking it, so I did. At the time I did not have any noticeable symptoms, so basically forgot about it.
However since then I've had the following symptoms, none of which I thought much off until the recent ones, but looking back, are a bit suspicious, although again until the recent ones they all have other possible explanations.
About maybe 9 months later I got a weird pain in my right wrist. I spend a lot of time using a mouse, so figured it was from that. It eventually went away on its own.
Around the same time I got a weird pain in my chest. Went to the doctor, and it was diagnosed as being caused by tight pecs. I've always been super inflexible everywhere, so that seemed reasonable. Went to a chiropractor to work on loosening it and did some stretching and it got a but better, but for a while still hurt when I laid on my side, which it still does sometimes intermittently.
My eye prescription had been stable before Cipro and has gotten worse every year since, but this could just be a coincidence.
I don't remember when this started happening, but I think it was after Cipro. My circulation is noticeably worse. When I sit on a toilet my legs often fall asleep after a couple minutes. Sitting on the ground leaning on my hands, my hands fall asleep too. Sometimes in the morning I wake up and my hands are numb even when I just sleep on my back with my hands at my side.
I don't do well with being cold and now sometimes need a sweatshirt when other people are fine without one if it's slightly chilly out.
I played volleyball once a week prior to Cipro, and continued to do so for 2 years after, at which point my shoulders started really bothering me when I would seem to repeatedly strain it a bit playing, specifically seemed to be bicep tendon mostly. Then I felt a strong pain when just reaching behind a shelf and stopped playing and went to doctor. Did physical therapy for this twice, which sort of helped, but I still get pain in the tendon sometimes, and when if I try to swim that aggravates it. Now obviously there was some repetitive stress/sports component to this, but I wonder if the Cipro weakened the tendon making it more likely to be injured and slowed down healing. Shortly after this I also got pain in my elbow, and then in my hand, which would tingle weirdly. Elbow specifically bothered me when using my phone in bed. This eventually receded mostly.
Around that same time, I started getting weird pain in my ribs, basically a single random rib would be painful for several days then get better. This happened like once a month for a while, but has gotten less and less frequent over time, and the duration has gotten shorted.
However 3 years post Cipro I injured my knees doing jump squats, as part of a routine to prepare for ski season. Landed weirdly, felt some pain, but then seemed fine, so kept going, landed weirdly again, more pain, then stopped. I actually don't think this is necessarily anything to do with the Cipro, more me being a dumbass, but the non knee symptoms that followed I think do. I seemed fine the next day, but over the following weeks my knees started bothering me a lot. Did some PT that made things worse, so I stopped. Also took some advil. Went to an orthopedic surgeon to get checked out, they thought it was tendonitis. Told me to do some specific exercises and recommended trying NSAIDs more consistently than I had with the advil and gave me a prescription for one and wanted me to try PT again, which at this point didn't make it worse but didn't make it better. I also lost a bunch of weight as I assumed that would help my knees, and this gave me the motivation to actually stick to eating better.
At some point, I think around the time I was taking the prescription NSAIDs, though I don't remember the exact timing of everything. I started getting weird symptoms unrelated to my knee, all of which have pretty much continued to this day. First my peroneal tendon started hurting for no apparent reason. Then just the bones in my foot and ankle started hurting, mostly when I was sitting down but sometimes when walking, seems to be effected by angle/position, but I haven't found the exact angle range that bothers it, and the location of the pain varies a lot. A few locations are more common, like the side round bone on the outside, and on the top of my foot basically in the middle right near but not inside the ankle, though it's often hard to pinpoint the exact location. My groin tendons, as well as inside the adductor muscle a bit bothers me, more so on the left but also a bit on the right. They actually started bothering my while doing a lot of leg raises to strengthen my quads to help the knee issue. They were aggravated further when I tried to use an exercise bike so I can't do that anymore now. Also my hamstring now has a painful to the touch spot, not sure if it's muscle or a tendon. My Achilles now hurts slightly or just tingles sometimes, weirdly mostly when I'm lying down, though occasionally when moving. The Achilles is what clued me in to the possible Cipro connection. My back has been bothering me intermittently a bit. A bunch of my joints and tendons now make weird popping and snapping noises with various movements, and my shoulder now has a grinding sensation with some movements that I don't remember being there even during the height of the previous shoulder injury. And my thumb now bothers me when using my phone a bit, and fingers sometimes when typing. My wrist started bothering me again, specifically it bothered me a shit ton when I tried to play Nintendo Switch in handheld mode. Doesn't bother me a ton day to day if I don't do that, but sometimes a bit. My elbow has started bothering me a bit after not doing so for a while.
Now most of these are individually mild, not nearly as as many of you, though I am worried that the snapping/popping is doing damage to my joints and will lead to arthritis, which I am also worried my ankle already is starting to develop with the bones randomly hurting. Plus the groin pain is preventing me from doing some things I would like to and I'm concerned stuff will just continue to get worse. However these symptoms seem pretty reminiscent of what many floxies seem to have, which is why I think that's probably at least partially the cause for some of them.
My thoughts on why the sudden onset of symptoms happened when they did is it could have been all the NSAIDs which I've red floxies can no longer take, could have been stress/inflammation from the knee injury, or could have been from stress on my body from the weightloss/a lack of some nutrition during said weightloss, or the timing could be coincidental and I would have had FQ symptoms show up then even without the knee injury.
I've started taking a multi vitamin, glutathione, mitoq, pqp, ala, and magnesium. And will try acupuncture soon. Am also considering active release technique message, and maybe looking into prp injections in some of my tendons.
Also I eventually saw a different ortho for a second opinion regarding the knee injury, and they thought it was something called Plica syndrome, especially after my knee tendons looked normal under ultrasound. They also actually took a look inside one of my knees with a device that is similar to an arthroscope, but smaller so less invasive, though it still hurt for a few days after, and could see a Plica that looked fairly inflamed, and didn't see any cartilage issues in the knee, so there is some credence to that diagnosis, and recommended I have the Plica removed surgically since the symptoms didn't get better after a fair amount of PT. However my knee symptoms, while they haven't gone away, have lessened a bunch recently(after the last time I saw the ortho so this hadn't happened yet when they recommended surgery), and at this point I don't know how much of them are from the injury, or how much may be from whatever is causing the systemic tendon/joint issues in other areas(presumably cipro), so if the lingering knee symptoms are mostly from that, then removing the Plica wouldn't even help. Plus the knees are honestly less of an issue currently than the ankle/groin stuff.
Anyway that's my story. Pretty sure I am having FQ symptoms, but no way to really know since there is no test and I didn't have any symptoms immediately while taking it. Also don't want to talk to my doctor about it since they'll think I'm crazy. I did see them about the joint/tendon issues, but didn't mention Cipro, and they had me go to a PT and Chiro for them, which doesn't really seem to be helping or making things worse, though since many of my symptoms are fairly varied day to day its sort of hard to tell one way or the other. I did mention Cipro to the PT, but they had only heard of it causing ruptures, but not just general pain, but weren't overly dismissive about it. They were pretty confused about why some of my symptoms are mostly worse when sitting/lying down though as they said that is very unusual.
I've also spent some time researching how close we are to being able to grow replacement tendons, ligaments, and cartilage in a lab, which seems fairly far out though cartilage seems possibly closer than tendons/ligaments, or robotic replacement limbs that work almost as well as real ones, which also seems pretty far out :(.
If I could go back in time, in addition to investing in bitcoin, I would obviously not take Cipro, and I'd probably also have switched from weekly volleyball to weekly yoga. But now I'm not sure if my tendons/joints can handle many of the yoga positions. And I would have stuck with regular squats with no jumping involved, maybe adding some wall sits in addition, and also just accepted that I wouldn't be able to keep up with my more athletic friends when skiing(which is why I was attempting risky plyometic exercises in the first place when I'm super uncoordinated), and been satisfied with just going on trips with them and chilling on the less tiring runs and meeting up for lunch.
TLDR: Took Cipro almost 4 years ago stupidly when I had a viral infection. No symptoms at the time, but have had many tendon/joint issues and a few other issues since then that I never had before, some of which have clear sports injury causes, but many of which do not, which is why I suspect Cipro is at least partially the cause for some/most of them. Am worried it's going to keep getting worse, and I may have full blown ankle and shoulder arthritis and maybe even hip too, in a few years despite currently only being 29. May consider becoming robocop in the future if technology exists.
submitted by prism1234 to floxies [link] [comments]

BAKERZZZZZZZZZZ Reloaded!!! Volume Three.

By the power of Yahweh ( and Snake ) the famous missing episodes are back!! Now collected into four volumes. Relive your wasted youth right here, right now. :)
In the Vegan Line of Fire (self.thebakerverse)
submitted 14 hours ago * by Avocadoeagle
" Attention" " Company..." " March Forward!!!!"
As the sharp command of Maj Vegan Gnome echoes through the parade ground, Nihilist Monkey raises his hands signaling the military band to start playing the marching tune.
The military band now starts the "Ode to Mendes" national anthem and the military parade marches forward with Major Vegan Gnome leading from the front.
Today, is the sad day, that residents of Painsville,AN will bury one of their bravest sons who died in the vegan line of fire.
Captain Brocolli , special services brocolli commando, who during a valiant attempt in Operation Vegan Onslaught paid with his life, when he was accidentally squashed to death by a speeding car.
The marching party now reaches the podium, where recipient of the Medal of Mendes and the Goat of Mendes special discount certificate, Field Marshall Angry Chicken awaits them.
Major Vegan Gnome now shouts his command.
" Attention !" ( All the Vegan soldiers now stand at attention...)
Major Vegan Gnome now marches to the podium, as Field Marshall Angry Chicken arrives to receive his salute.
Major Vegan Gnome and Field Marshall Angry Chicken meet.
Major Vegan Gnome raises his Cucumber of honor and salutes the Field Marshall.
" Field Marshall Angry Chicken..." " Vegan Force Unit 34-Pipe at your service Sir!"
Field Marshall Angry Chicken acknowledges the salute.
Nihilist Monkey now signals the military band to stop the music.
It is now time to pay final respects to the brave broccoli commando.
Field Marshall Angry Chicken now arrives at the lectern and addresses the crowd.
" Pukaaak!" " Iz diz mic on...?!" asks the Field Marshall.
( A sharp shrill echo is heard in the parade ground, that forces many in the crowd to cover their ears...)
" Pukak!" " Bitchez....." " We are gathered here ... to bid farewell to diz piece of vegetable paste... that died in the line of fire, when some azzhole drove over him and squished him into a vegan paste...." " Captain Brocolli never faltered in the line of Fire..."
( Field Marshall Angry Chicken bobs his bird head left and then right....)
" He was a caring and responsible officer, devoted son and a man of honor..." " he is just a pile of vegan paste...." "N he is dead..." " So fuck him...."
Field Marshall Angry Chicken now looks at the sad crowd. He doesn't have words to describe his loss. Primarily because he has no more words to say. What do you say....?
Field Marshall Angry Chicken now looks down at his thin bird legs and then stares into the distance.
" Pukak...." " Bitchez...." " In his honor, I dedicate my poem Soi Boiz"
The Field Marshall takes out his mobile phone, selects the right beat and puts his phone on speaker mode.
Beat kicks in 3...2....1....
Chorus: Rubbin oil on dem titties... Rubbin oil on dem titties...
Yu.... juzt a Soi Boi... Cry all night... Hug yo teddy bear tight... In yo azz.... You crave a pipe...
Cuz yu just a Soi boi.... N the only thing you like Izzzzzzz......
Rubbin oil on dem titties... Rubbin oil on dem titties...
( Field Marshall Angry Chicken now switches his beatbox app on his phone off with his thin bird leg...)
( Field Marshall Angry Chicken now clears his throat...)
" Datz all folks...." " Pukaaaaak!" " We out of here....."
As Field Marshall Angry Chicken runs away from the podium, Maj Vegan Gnome gives a loud command to the brave Vegan force.
" Attention...." " Vegan Force.....Left turn...." " Forward March....!!!"
Nihilist Monkey gives the cue and the marching band begins to play the new marching tune called " The Smile of The Great Goat " as the Vegan force party marches off.
Even though the people in the crowd have tears in their eyes... they feel assured in their hearts that the sacrifices of the brave Captain Brocolli did not go in vain.
Post Script: The sacrifice of Captain Brocolli did indeed go in vain.
Profiles in Courage (self.thebakerverse)
submitted 42 minutes ago * by Avocadoeagle
Admiral Gustav scratches his chin as he stares at the operational map for "Operation Turnip Redemption 3 - Day One".
" Who made this plan?" asks Admiral Gustav in a serious tone to the Director General Military Plans (DGMP) Major General Mister Penis.
Major General Mister Penis, a tall thin man with a bald head, immediately feels a terrible anxiety engulfing him.
" Admiral Gustav, the plans have been approved by the Field Marshal himself.... who .... who.... made the battle plan himself... Sir!"
Admiral Gustav takes off his reading glasses and places them on the operational map.The Admiral looks down at his polished shoes and then stares into the distance.
" General Penis... you are telling me... that this plan... was made and approved by the Field Marshal..."
General Penis feels beads of sweat rolling over his forehead.
" Yes.... yes... Sir!"
Admiral Gustav looks in General Penis's eyes. The nervousness is palpable.
" You are telling me.... that this plan.... this rubbish shit plan.... of launching a strategic operation involving hundreds of spec ops vegan commandoes, aerial drones, joint strikes and C4I counter operations was made by a Chicken..."
Admiral Gustav gets up from his chair and angrily points at the operational map.
" What is this...." " Launch artillery strikes of Pineapples at 0600 Hrs, followed by an attack of men with male breasts, who will strike fear in the enemies hearts by rubbing oil over their man breasts and run naked into the enemies dug out trench areas...."
" And this bit... in which a monkey will ride a dog into the thick of battle and deliver round house kicks to the enemies.... with Master Wang..."
" And this .... this shit.... here.... where military attack helicopters will play " Soi Boi" on the speakers full blast so that the enemies can buy Xhixken MC's new rap album .....!"
" What is this shit!" " You call this a military plan General ?!!!" " Never in my thirty five years of service have I ever come across...."
( The office door opens...)
Field Marshal Angry Chicken walks in....
( Major General Mister Penis immediately delivers a sharp salute to the Field Marshal...)
" Pukaaaak!" "I was hearing you bitichin ...Admiral..."
Admiral Gustav immediately loses his cool. " Day One Mission Planning for Operation Turnip Redemption 3 is a disaster Field could you even...."
" Shat the faaaak up biatch..." " You don't even know what we have in store for you on Day Two Boiii...." shouts the Field Marshal.
Admiral Gustav is confused. He looks at Major General Mister Penis.
" General Penis..." " What is in store for me on Day Two...?"
General Penis nervously looks left and then right. Then he takes a sip of cold milk from a glass and clears his throat.
The Admiral is clearly inflamed.
" General Penis... you are not answering my question...!" thunders Admiral Gustav.
" What is in store for me on Day Two???!!!"
Major General Mister Penis, takes in a deep breath.
" Sir... the Field Marshal...." " The Field Marshal has ordered that you are to be fired from a torpedo canon naked into the enemies defense lines, first thing on Day Two...."
" He has said WHAT......?!!!!!" shouts Prince Gustav clearly dumbfounded by the revelation.
Major General Mister Penis can't take the anxiety anymore.
He bends down and vomits milk from his mouth.
Post Script: A gush of milk is seen being vomited by General Penis on the carpet.
On The Edge of Hope (self.thebakerverse)
submitted 49 minutes ago * by Avocadoeagle
" Snake.... come here..." " Come here quick...." shouts Yahweh as he sits down in front of his TV. Snake is busy making pancakes.
Breaking News!
( News anchor voice...)
"We have information that Vegan Force is initiating Operation Turnip Redemption 3 against Teeth Whitening Turds (TWT), who have been implicated in the death of Captain Brocolli who succumbed to his vegan injuries in Operation Vegan Onslaught, three days back."
" Continue watching live coverage of Operation Turnip Redemption 3 with your most trustworthy fake news channel PNN..."
Snake rushes in.
" Sssss....What do you want God... ?" " Do you want whipping cream with your pancakessss?"
" Snake sit down here..." says Yahweh, without even moving his eyes off the TV set.
Breaking News:
( News anchor voice...)
" PNN has just learned that Field Marshal Angry Chicken has decided to overwhelm the teeth whitening turds with a shock N awe display of man titties, organic pineapples and bombarding the enemies with his latest rap songs played by attack helicopters..."
Yahweh has a strange look on his face.
" What the fuck did I just hear.... Mr Chicken is doing WHAT?!"
Snake takes a sip of his lemonade.
" Ssss.... God it's called doublespeak. Attack the wrong people for the wrong reasons with the wrong tactics for a fake purpose and then declare mission accomplished. All civilized nations have engaged in BS wars over the years.... itssss good business!"
Yahweh shakes his head as he sees the live coverage on the TV screen.
"This has to be the dumbest thing that I have ever seen Snake...." says Yahweh.
Snake takes another sip of his lemonade and then stares into the distance.
" God.... it is still not as dumb as creating sentient beings on a ball of pain, in a dog eat dog world , where every animal is feasting on one another.... and enslaving all these wretched beings with intense sexual appetites , so that their miseries continue on for ever through their children..." says Snake.
Yahweh looks at Snake.
" Hmmmmm.... that truly is an even more dumber thing than this.... whoever did that Snake?" asks Yahweh.
" You did...." says Snake as he continues staring into the distance.
Executive Vegan Decisions (self.thebakerverse)
submitted just now * by Avocadoeagle
General Big Pieep Sahulo, Rear Admiral Bong Piep Mabuto and Air Marshal Lingus Moseko stand up in attention and salute as Field Marshall Angry Chicken enters the Operations Commander's Board room.
Admiral Gustav follows the Field Marshal along with DGMP (Director General Military Plans) Major General Mister Penis.
" Genelmen... take yo seatz..." " Pukak..." says the Field Marshal, as he sits down at the Principal seat.
Everyone takes their seats on the board room table and Major General Penis distributes mission briefs to all General officers.
" Genelmen...!" " Today we begin day one of Operation Turnip Redemption 3..." " I wud personally like to thank President Mugabe for lending me his finest officers, who have extensive experience, accumulated over decades of military service,in eating Cheetos and chugging Mountain Dews..."
" Genelmen... any questionz?" asks the Field Marshal.
Rear Admiral Bongo Piep Mobutu, looks at the other officers and then raises his hand.
" Sir wat about the mission name..." " We think that Operation Turnip Redemption 3 is too harsh a name for an operation of this scale..." says the Rear Admiral in a thick African accent.
Field Marshal Chicken is intrigued by the suggestion.
" Pukaaak..." " So what do you Gz have in mind...?!"
General Big Piep Sahulo looks at Air Marshal Lingus Moseko and then raises his hand.
" Yes General Big Piep..." says the Field Marshal.
" Sir weee have decided on two other names, which will fit the mission better and want you to decide which one to select..." says the General in a thick African accent.
" Go ahead..." says Field Marshal Angry Chicken.
Air Marshal Lingus Moseko gets up from his seat.
" Field Marshal Chicken, the two names we have considered are "Operation Pipe in Azz/ Smile on Face" or "Operation Pipe in Azz... Ohh Fuk... I lost all my savings in Bitcoin...!"
Field Marshal Angry Chicken listens to the suggestions made by the General officers.
Time is running out.... Which name to take.... Decisions...decisions... decisions...!
Things look tense👀 the Operation Commander's Board Room.
The Canopus of Vegan Sin (self.thebakerverse)
submitted 1 day ago * by Avocadoeagle
Vegan Gnome always looks forward to 8:30 pm. It's that time of the night , when he places his sweet Christian butt cheeks on his toilet seat and takes a *vegan shit. ( * USDA approved - Organic Vegan Shit)
He also likes to solve cheeky vegan puzzles while he defecates.
Puzzle 32 F:
" What has two i's, two f's, walks and talks and loves your mother ?"
Vegan Gnome thinks for a few seconds. Aha....he got it..
" It's a woolly cashmere sweater.." says Vegan Gnome as he claps his hands in delight.
He goes to the answers page, at the end of the book.
Wrong Answer🍑🥕!
He reads the answer:
" The answer to puzzle 32 F is a vicious vegan alien from the Super Giant star Canopus in the constellation Carina, 310 light years away, who will come to earth and shove his fist right up your azz!"
No worries....
Vegan Gnome turns over the page and now tries to solve puzzle 36 DD.
" My name begins with a Q , I walk on two legs, and can catch a bird, fly and write rhymes, what am I ?"
This one is difficult. Vegan Gnome strains hard for this one.
Maybe.... Mmmmm..... Aha....
" It's the village postman !" says Vegan Gnome as he claps his hands in delight.
He hurriedly goes to the answers page at the end of the book.
Puzzle 36 DD.
Wrong Answer🌰🌶!
He reads the answer:
" The answer to puzzle 36 DD, is Q-Zord, a vicious sodomite alien from the constellation Carina, who is coming to earth this very moment on the space battleship Zordus, to shove his entire three fingered alien fist up your vegan azz!"
( A few moments later...)
Vegan Gnome tucks himself into bed and gives Teddy a kiss. He switches off his bed side lamp. " Isn't life wonderful..." thinks Vegan Gnome as he drifts into sleep with a smile on his face.
Post Script:
23:49 Hrs.
Strange flashes of light are seen in the sky. The dogs in the neighborhood have started barking...
This Cursed Jealousy (self.thebakerverse)
submitted 18 minutes ago by Avocadoeagle
Skeletor is 6'3. He has 23 inch biceps and 6 pack abs. He has a square chiseled jaw ( Quite literally ). All the chics dig Skeletor. Skeletor is also a great shooting guard for Eternia's High School Basketball team. Chic's love Skeletor.
Mumraa looks at his reflection in the putrid pool near his skull coffin.
Bad dental hygiene. Man tits. Weak muscles. Bad posture. Weak eyesight. Can't even walk straight. Incel. Women hate him. No access to titties.
Mumraa takes in a deep breath. Everyone tells him to lift bro...and be more confident around women, but he knows that doesn't work. He adopted a vegan lifestyle, workout out, went out for long walks with Mamut, did deep breathing exercises, yoga, Taichi, Gingseng Tea, protein shakes....
Fak! None of these shits help. Mumraa looks at his G shock watch. It's 9 am in the morning. Time to go back to sleep, as Mumraa stays awake all night watching reruns of " Full House" with Mamut.
Mumraa is lonely, Fak Skeletor!
Post Script: " Field Marshal do we have permission...?" asks Commodore Piep. Field Marshal Chicken nods his head.
Admiral Gustav is fired from the torpedo tube of a submarine straight into enemy territory.
A naked old man can be seen flying over the black pyramid, where Mumraa is changing into his pygamies and getting ready to sleep.
submitted by LuckyDuck99 to thebakerverse [link] [comments]

Tales of IT converted to plain text for the sake of legibility

I got hired by my Dad to do IT. I know very little about IT besides games. These are my IT stories. be first day
 > woman asks me if I can install the latest version of adobe reader > fuck ya I got this DL like a boss > "Wow you're like a computer expert" > "Well you know..." > Asked to input admin credentials > forget admin credentials > try admin:password > nope.jpg > "uhhhh... uhhhh... oh crap somethings going on with the server.. be right back" > 3 months later she still doesn't have adobe reader 
be day 2
 > angry guy is on the phone asking me about some weird in house program > have no idea what the fuck he's saying > there's a pause > he's waiting for an answer > think back to the IT crowd > "Have you tried turning it on and off again" > "Like restarting" > "Give me a sec..." > it fucking worked 
day 3
 > hot sales rep comes in with laptop issues > she's 9/10 cougar > all flirty with me > tells me she needs something updated > can only hear her boobs > her laptop smells like strawberrys > download adobe reader for her and hand it back 
day 4
 > figure out how to turn off the servers > when people start asking for help > go into server room > turn off servers > come out oblivious and start downloading adobe reader > eventually people start screaming > THE SITES DOWN! THE SITES DOWN! > "I'm on it!" > run back to the server room > play hotline miami in the back for few hours > turn server back on near end of day > come out of server room > wipe brow from face > "I did it..." > people are singing my praises saying i saved the day > really just saved the girlfriend in HM 
day 5
 > run into cougar at coffee machine > ask her how things are going, just a general statement > instantly thinks im talking shop > starts telling me all the shit wrong with her computer > she doesn't see me as a human > she sees me as an it > tell her to drop off her laptop > she does > I upgrade her ie > download adobe reader > restart the machine > everythings fucking working > run it back to her > fix my hair > check my breath > act like I saved the day > she's in her office on the phone > she motions to put on her desk >1 do...kind of linger > "Is that everything hun?" > leave > hear her say "oh it was just IT" > just IT > that is all I am now 
day 6
 > really bored > decide to download a gameboy emulator and play some pokemon > the webfilters blocking it so I turn it off the whole thing I dont just whitelist it, I turn it all off > get to emulator site but now I need to turn off the antivirus > use the admin which I now know to do it... > end up turning off the whole antivirus settings on the server > download my emulator and rom > play my game > guy comes into my office > "I think I caught I virus" > me "gotta catch em all" > by the time I'm facing Misty 4 people have viruses 
day 7
 > same guy that was yelling at me day 2 is yelling at me > he cant remotely log in just as I am about to leave to go home > "Try turning it off then on again then call me back" > go home 
day 8
 > guy call from day 7 calls back > he's pissed > tells me he lost a client because of my stupidity > "shit happens man. I lost to team rocket like 10 minute ago" > "what the fuck are you talking about?" > click 
day 9
 > one of the printers is out of toner > some fat guy tells me to change it > "it's a toner man... can't you change it? I'm working on this huge issue with the server" > was really downloading steam > "it'll take a second... god I have much more important stuff to do... that's why you're here" > sigh and go do it > cant figure out how to fucking open the fucking cartridge door > start hitting it like they do in zoolander > tell the poor mentally challenged guy in the mail room I have a special job for him > he has to hide the magic egg in the chest of Hewlet Packard > go back to my server business > half an hour later the fat guy comes into my office > "What the fuck did you do to the printer?" > "Changed the toner" > He just starts shaking his head and muttering shit > we walk over to it > the mailroom guy jammed the cartridge in the wrong way and actually lodged it in there so half of it is sticking out > the door cant even close > there's black hand prints all over the printer too > Can feel the guy judging me so I just spew bullshit > "Looks to be a probably with the network." > the printer was down for over a month before I figured out we have a printer guy on call 
day 10
 > have to set up projector in the boardroom > cant find a thunderbolt to hdmi cable to hook it up to lazy to go to the store > dont even have a corporate card either > tell the people needing the projector that there's a compatibility issue with macbooks > they use some guys dellbook > the files from the mac end up not running on the dellbook > call me in mid meeting > all these business people staring at me as I am randomly clicking folders as fast as possible to look like I am pro > download adobe reader > double click files > works > "Thanks Anon, you saved me" 
day 11
 > there's a new hire > no one fucking told me anything > get screamed at that theres no computer for this new person > go in back to see if we have any spares > there's a few > but there's also some really old pcs from like the early 90's > boot it up > works > set up new person > everything lags > you open adobe reader? massive fucking lag > send out the computer > "it's the best we've got on short notice" > get like 40 sharepoint tickets the first day from that person > he's a real stickler for help > he ends up quitting the very next week saying he can't work under these conditions 
day 12
 > someones computer crashed > fuuuuuuuuck > set up computer > remember something about profiles being saved on the network > go back to the server room > look at the server rack like a total idiot as I try and figure out in my head how this works > tell the guy all his data is lost and there's nothing I can do > "b-b-bbut my project... i have to present that to the board on friday..." > "gone, man. It's gone" > play sim theme park the rest of the day 
day 13
 > roll up to work an hour late > whole office is in chaos > fallofrome.jpg > "HE'S HERE!" > Go in to my office open up mail > dozens of emails like: > "Hey is there something wrong with the server I can't log in to..." > "Any idea why the site is down I..." > the server is actually down > adobe reader can't save me now > "Just go back there and do what you did last time!" > everyone thinks its an easy solve > literally shaking in the server room because I don't know what to do > nap in server room for entire day > people are pissed can hear them banging on server door > we've missed deadlines > leave at 6:30 pm > the CFO sees me in the parking lot > hes been in a meeting all day doesn't know about my struggles > "You're still here?! That's the kind of can-do attitude I like to see" 
day 14
 > server is still down > my dads asking questions > everyone is pissed > take an early lunch > over hear some guys at the restaurant talking about buying a new modem for the office > hailmary.jpg > "Hey sorry to bother you during your lunch...but would either of you happen to be IT?" > before either of them could read me the riot act and tell me something like how the fuck dare I > I'm IT too > I show them my hand that I scratched up crawling wire on the floor > they nod > "What would you try doing if your server is completely fucked?" > "Have you tried restarting it?" > I go back and restart the physical machine > it fucking works 
day 15
 > hot cougar walks by office looking distressed > "Everything okay?" > "Oh good... I can't log into my email... can you please help me... PLEASE" > "I got you." > get her laptop > re-install microsoft office > outlook works again > poke through her emails to make sure things are working > send a test file > read the titles of her latest emails > "Divorce" > hand back her laptop > "Looks like its working now" > "Thanks..." > "Everything okay?" > "Well..." > this is fucking it, tell me your sob stories cougar woman and then its or > "My mouse is acting a bit funny, can I get a new one" 
day 16
 > one of the mailroom guy's monitors isn't working > it's coming up all green > backstory: there's been a huge misappropriation of funds because I gave him dual monitors just because he's a mentally challenged and I figured if anyone needs 2 screens its him > all he does is look at msn slideshows > and use the fedex webapp or something > he's a nice guy so I actually try and fix it for him > nothings working > think its a driver issue > think its a setting issue > think its an actual hardware issue > whole time people are coming to me with real problems but I keep saying "I'll be there in a minute" > after 2 hours the mailroom guy goes > "maybe da pug ish boken" > I swapped out the hdmi cable with a brand new one > it worked > I officially am less adept at my job then a poor mentally challenged guy 
day 17
 > nice old woman who talks to me about sports tells me her keyboard is shit > she's oldest person in the office by far > old as dirt > tell her I have just the thing > go in the back and unbox a brand new keyboard meant for the programmers > bring it to the old woman > "You're such a helpful young man" > reach down awkwardly to plug in the new keyboard > get back up and dust pants off > old lady looks like she's having a heart attack > look at the screen > it's fucking blank > on my way back up to my feet I hit the power button > she lost 3 hours of work > 3 hours that old woman will never ever see again 
day 18
 > company meeting > we're over budget > there has been ridiculous spending > "we've lost money for almost a month > day 18 > almost a month > they are going to out me > IT budget comes up in discussion > we're one of 2 departments that are coming under budget > "Great job Anon. I heard about the server issues here... you're the man" > at the end of the meeting a 45 year old events planner asks me if I fix computers on the side > "Not really..." > "Oh... I have this one blasted thing that needs fixing. You couldn't just come over and fix it?" > bullshit > for a laugh I say, "yeah it's cool, just give me your address and I'll be over after work" > not sure if I'm getting sex > buy condoms > she's not that hot like a 6/10 tops > not even going to lie > last call kind of hot > arrive at her house > ring the door bell while standing all suave leaned up against the door > her husband answers the door > shows me to the computer > install the latest version of adobe reader > get $20 > go home 
day 19
 > some guy crashes a program so I have to reinput the settings > go onto his cubicle mates computer > check settings > 2 hours later > "You wrecked my computer... I want my fucking computer back exactly how it was I don't know what you did but somethings off my usb drive is buzzing..." > wtf > I didnt do shit to your computer. I checked a program you open 20 times a day > super pissed so I go back into the server room and play Thomas Was None > hear knock on server room door > its the cubtclemate > "Hey, Thanks for fixing it. > "Fixing what?" > "The my usb drive" > I didn't do shit lol > "Oh yeah don't mention it" 
day 20
 > spend entire day cleaning the server room up > getting it all nice > just unplugging network cables wily nifty so I can colour coordinate them > people are losing their shit > they are randomly getting kicked off > tell people there are some issues with our isp > I make sure to say I-S-P as I have now learned by spelling in abbreviations no matter how common makes you sound techy > by the end of the day the server rack is all classy looking > unfortunately I never mapped anything and a handful of people can't connect because their ports aren't connected to anything > tell them the I-S-P will have it done ASAP and go home 
day 21
 > now that the server room is all clean I set up all the test boxes in the back > 8 machines in total all connected to the network > try joining monitors all together like you see on cool threads, you know like the racing ones? > realize these are shit old monitors and you can't do that > come up with the great idea of bitcoin mining with these boxes > set it up for the first half of the day > after lunch I'm mining > terribly but I am mining > people start complaining about server lag > blame the lag on the olympics > suggest that the whole office must be streaming it > ban the olympics on the web filter > office is divided; can see the divide in my email > people who are pissed about not being able to watch the olympics > and the keeners who think its all work and no play at work > I've officially gained power though, people respect me for making this mandate > "He's a real company guy" 
day 22
 > its birthday day > office celebrates all the months birthdays > take cake > set up n64 in the boardroom > challenge people in the office to goldeneye > keep saying "Hey I'm just taking a 5 minute break for some cake want a quick game?" > own the shit out of all of them > realize I did absolutely nothing all day but eat cake and game > no one ever noticed 
day 23
 > cougar calls in from the road > she's having trouble accessing a key app for a client on her ipad > she tells me its name > have no idea what it is > but make sure to sound astute > ask her if she's using WIFI or 3G > "How do I check" > "Nevermind let me check from my maincore system" > google the app but nothing comes up > ask one of the other sales people > "oh it's just an infographic on our main site" > tell the hot cougar to come into the office because it's going to require me to hardcode the changes in > she drives 2 hours to come to the office so I can open up Safari and bookmark it to her ipad homepage 
I'll continue this tomorrow, believe it or not there's an ending to this but I can't get to it today.
day 24
 > people heard from the 45 year old events planner I do house calls > bunch of idiots are bringing in their home computers, mobile devices, anything technical for me to fix > tell people I can only do it after hours and I charge $20 for small stuff and $50 for large. > most of it is simple fixes > windows updates or adobe reader installs fix it > but then I get it > the laptop from hell > this fat indian guy hands me his laptop in a plastic bag, not a laptop bag, a plastic one > "What's wrong with it?" > "You tell me genius" > Load it up and it's asking for some system restore or something. > just hit next and okay > fixes it but it says I need to load chkdisk? > figure that has something to do with the cd drive > open it up > there's a thick fucking layer of bread crumbs in the tray > tilted the machine to its side > motherfucking bread crumbs just pouring out of the laptop > restart the machine > it loads perfectly > turns out the guy was using it as a tray for his morning bagel > fucking toaster laptops 
Hi AV its the IT guy from yesterday
day 25
 > even though I'm shit at IT > one guy thinks because I am IT I am super techy > he asks me what my favourite browser is > "Google.... Ultron" > "it like chrome?" > shit thats what I meant > "yeah...but's what nasa uses" > "cool could you dl that for me?" > gulp > "yeah no worries" > literally start shaking the mouse back and forth so fast you can see the cursor > then ctrl alt deleted into task manager > " go. All done. It looks like google chrome. but its really ultron. no one else can tell." > to this day he still thinks he runs google ultron 
day 26
 > some woman calls me over > "it'll just take a sec, it's super simple" > shit > asks me to hook her up to a new printer > she hops out of her chair and lets me sit down > forget how to add network printers > her and her friend are talking right over my shoulder staring at the screen > "Is this going to take long?" > I fake deep thought as I stare at the screen with one hand on my temple > "Anon? I have a deadline is this going to..." > "What the fuck..." > both of the women are startled > "THERE'S A VIRUS ON THIS MACHINE" > and I just storm off like I'm pissed 
day 27
 > learn about a remote access tool that the whole office uses > decide to haunt the old nice old lady from before > i randomly move the mouse for a few hours > she struggles to do basic tasks > she comes and asks me for a new mouse > oblige her > hook it up and leave > look back at remote tool > mouse is moving again, she opens up word > I begin to type > "Hi" > no response > "Hi > "Hello? Who is this?" > "It's death :(" 
day 28
 > a guy asks me to burn him a copy of a dvd for a presentation > holy fuck I know how to do that > burn it for him > march back down to his office, proudly holding the dvd high in the air > Woman tries to stop me "Hey can you..." > "Not now... I've got IT business to attend to" > hand the guy his burned dvd > this might be one of the first things IVe done right here > tear in my eye > so proud of how far I have come > I am true IT > 5 minutes later I get a call "Hey...yeah there's nothing on the dvd..." 
day 29
 > give new hire her new laptop > nothing is fucking setup right > forgot to hook up her outlook to exchange > no worries she did it herself > cool > she asks me if I can type in the admin credentials so she can dl some social media tool > "Sure" > fuck up the login credentials like 3 times and get locked out > have to unlock it from my machine > can't figure it out but go back because I left my gameboy in her office > she starts making small talk > "So where'd you go to school to become an IT person?" > she's fucking on to me > try logging in once more to admin account > locked out still > "Yeah... you know what? I think this Hootsuite extension is a virus. I don't want that shit on my network" 
day 30
 > here's where shit starts to really hit the fan > as you know i had setup a bitcoin mining rig in the server room > it was just eating up all the bandwidth > the whole network was barely operational > and now because of my ineptitude and blaming things on viruses people started a rumour > that the whole network was being attacked by a rogue hacker group > after lunch I get pulled into a meeting by with all the execs > the jig is up > "As you know we've been experiencing a multitude of issues with our network..." > I'm fucked > "from the lag to the viruses" > so fucked > "We want you to head up the investigation and find out who's doing this and why" > ROFL > I am the fucking dirty cop on the force who's tasked with finding the dirty cop > I am the fucking law 
day 31
 > tell people I'm running server calibrations > "it's like dusting for finger prints" > no one's the wiser > show this one middle aged guy with a beard how to use a webapp > go to favourite it for him and put it on the toolbar > notice all of his favourites > Big titty housewife > Pajama Butt Slut > Mexican girl on bus > mouse over them as I mouth read them > he starts freaking out > begs me not to tell > "Why shouldn't I?" > "Ill buy you lunch" > got 10 chicken nuggets 
day 32
 > for some reason the entire office is having to fill in a captcha every time they google anything > have no idea why this happening > Google ultron guy asks me if this has to do with the virus and if he should be backing up his data > "First. Always back up your data." > he nods to my tech savvy > "Second. It's a security measure INce put in place. There are robots afoot." > he nods again like my word is law 
day 33
 > Ultron guy blabs and tells everyone about google ultron > now everyone in the fucking office has a sharepoint ticket asking for it to be installed > a few of the more competent people are asking me what the fuck google ultron is > I just give them finger guns until they walk away > have to spend entire day going from desktop to desktop pretending to dl google ultron > literally spend 3-4 hours pretending to dl software that nasa uses > one girl asks me if this even legal > "Are you a cop?" > she reports me to HR for "criminal like behaviour > have already explained to HR what google ultron is... > HR thinks its real > HR thinks nasa uses it > HR tells the narc to stop interfering with important technological matters because the narc doesnt know anything about IT like me > doesnt know anything about IT like me 
day 34
 > been playing portal 2 all day in my office > haven't heard so much as a complaint > haven't had to update adobe reader or adobe flash all fucking day > something's not right > no one's said shit about it > poke my head out of the office > everyone's heads down just typing away > starting to get worried > ask a guy how his computer is working > "Great. Ever since you downloaded Google Ultron, my whole computer has just been flying" > wtf > do a quick google search on google chrome > supposedly it automatically downloads the most up to date versions of adobe > omfg > if I don't have fucking adobe reader I'm fucking out of a job > send out mass email > ATTN: do not open google ultron it has been hacked > spend rest of day uninstalling and making IE the default browser 
day 35
 > people are becoming restless with the hackevirus stuff > they wonder why I haven't solved the case yet > some even believe its not a hacktivst group like I've been hinting > "We're not just dealing with amateurs here. We're dealing with the best. And that's why I need to update your antivirus scanner" > just to strike the fear into people I covertly turn on the computer of a person who's sick and stationed right in the middle of one of the larger areas > turn off her monitor > put speakers full > then go back to office and remote in > play Wham's Jitterbug at 3 second intervals throughout the day > eventually people Start coming to my office to report this > I nod > it's worse than I thought > "What? What is it?" > it's the Jitterbug gang. One of the world's best hacking groups" > "I've never heard of them." > "That's why they're the best" 
day 36
 > check messages > local police called > FUUUUCK > need to speak with me since I am IT about recent hacks on our organization > delete message > cougar comes into my office > asks if I can adjust her desktop so the wallpaper changes every couple of minutes > "Sure." > head over there with her > she tells me she's getting a divorce > "Oh." > Says she's actually starting to date again and it's pretty awkward > fuck it > "Wanna maybe grab a beer sometime after work?" > she laughs > "What? I mean why not?" > "You're joking right? You're IT..." > my eyes well up as I stare at adobe prompts me that reader has a new update > "Just gonna download this." 
day 37
 > feeling like shit today > cougar told her sales friends that I tried asking her out > people are laughing behind my back > can hear the whispers > "eww haha IT?!!! ewwwwww" > want to just open up a computer and jump through the moving cpu fan > mean sales guy who usually calls (yeah that one) stops by office > "My laptops not working" > I trudge over to his desk with him > hit the power button for a reset > don't say anything and just walk away > "If that's all you ever do.. Why do we need you?' > turn around > "what?" > "if you only ever just restart my computer... why are we paying you? I can restart my own damn computer" > grin > "Have you ever repaired a server here? Do you know how hard it is to get it operational? Remember how we were down for a day and a half?" > he shakes his head > "That's what I thought." > of course I just restarted it lol 
day 38
 > still feel like shit after the cougar shut me down > decide to block 1 major site on the webfilter every hour > feel like the Joker doing it > first youtube > then ebay > then reddit > hear the moans from people as they read my webfilter note > "This is a place of work not a fun house" > One woman storms into office > "This is not funny...this is serious" > "Why so serious?" I ask her > "I need you to unblock ebay" > lot seriously > "I HAVE AN AUCTION ENDING IN 5 MINUTES!" > put it back on the safe list > but it was too late > she missed out on her cellphone case > mwhahahahaha 
day 39
 > an "investigator" comes to the office > the execs were worried that we had too much to lose and wanted to bring in a professional > I'm fucked > show him around the office > he keeps asking to see the server room > "And this is Carol. She's a riot. Aren't you Carol" > doing everything I can to stall > we go back into the server room > he compliments me on how neat the cables are > think about picking up a monitor and bashing his skull in and then running away to mexico > cant do it > I'm not a monster > I'm IT > the guy goes onto the server > asks me for the login info > figure the jig is up > give it to him > he logs in > opens up IE > looks over his shoulder at me > "You don't need to be here" > "It's fine" > I need to be there when it happens > he literally starts shaking his mouse really quickly around IE clicking on random parts of the screen > I know because a popup for Home depot came up > he starts muttering to himself... "hmmm... hmmm" > watch him type in adobe reader in google > he dl's it > swings his cursor around some more > and then finally goes > "fucking hackers right?" > we are brothers he and I > IT brothers 
day 40
 > wake up and realize how lucky I truly am not to be fired or worse > see cougar girl walking into the office from parking lot > asks me how things are going > I think we finally put an end to the jitterbug gang > "no, I meant... not work stuff' > look at her strangely then smile. > "Oh you know how it is" > she flicks her hair and then laughs > what the fuck? > "Cool. I'm having problems opening a file...can you open it for me hun?" > sigh > "Yeah sure..." > we walk into her office she's being all flirty > click on the sharepoint link of a pdf file > won't open > download adobe reader > while it's loading I ask her what she's planning on doing on the weekend > "I'm going to the mountains with this guy for our first getaway" > stop adobe reader at 80% > walk right out > I am IT 
day 41
 > this hot yoga girl from events comes into my office > her keyboard keeps typing in french > too busy playing Happy bird to care > "so are you going to help me?" > "if things slow down. I've been swamped today" > "I'm going to fucking kill you" > she waggles her glorious yoga butt away > cute girl, and don't even care anymore just want day to fucking end > I hate this fucking job > all I do is get yelled at and download adobe reader > I cant even find the joy in games any more > Dad walks by > sees I'm looking blue > Dad takes me out for lunch > pats me on the shoulder > "I'm so proud of you son." > to date the company is in fucking shambles > and I still am primarily an adobe reader downloader > but I wouldn't change any of it for his very next words > "I love you son." Thanks guys and thanks Dad for the job. :) Don't forget to download your adobe readers guys. 
I didn't make this, I converted it to text from the imgur images and am working on correcting it occasionally.
submitted by that1communist to funny [link] [comments]

[Table] IAmA: We are scientists working at CERN, home of the Large Hadron Collider and birthplace of the World Wide Web! Ask Us (Almost) Anything!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-06-10
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
How much political input/interference is there in your work? Given that so many nations contribute funding, does conflict ever arise in regards to what you can do? There is fortunately no political input/interference in our work, and this is regardless of our origine or anything. What we do is just pure science! (nm)
Does the name Okabe Rintarou ring a bell? SteinsGate, if I am not wrong. But we don't do time machines yet. Ask me again yesterday, if this has changed in five years.
How much hooking up goes on between the scientists at CERN? Please rate on a scale of "Frostier than Elsa's Ice Palace" to "Sexy Cheerleader Camp group cabin" What I can tell is that there is an intense social life at CERN which I would call inbred: the community at CERN is somewhat special ... Long hours spent at the lab, sometime a geeky attitude, does not favor contacts outside CERN ... end result: I know a lot of people who have found their companion within the community. (TC)
Do you guys do anything classified? CERN is an academic environment and we take lots of efforts to publish results, technical designs, etc. We do not do any military research. Therefore, there is few stuff being "classified". Sometimes, there is a period when we keep information internal until we are sure the results are correct. Thus, basically, you find only the "usual" classified stuff at CERN: payslips, medical records of our employees, passwords, financial information.
That and your time machine research. Oh. Yes. But that has been handed over to SERN.
What does it sound like when you turn it on? (Seriously) When we close the LHC after access, the access console beeps. when we send out timing events to synchronise the equipment, we have an announcer that speaks out a line, that recalls what happened.
For the rest, the control room is far from the equipment, so we don't really hear it... but colleagues told me that at the ISR (another accelerator at CERN), they could hear the beam being dumped with a low pitch boom :) (gp)
Would it be technically or bureaucratically difficult to install microphones to record it next year? We have had microphones installed, to listen to the sound of an asynchronous dump on the collimators :) (gp)
What discovery/research should be getting more publicity than it is? We are doing a lot of research which does not get onto the blogs/newspapers: we have published more than 100 scientific papers on major peer reviewed journals.
Such papers are all about measuring the way Nature works at fundamental level. Today this kind of fundamental research can only be carried out in laboratories like CERN and it is our role to exploit such tools to provide mankind with these measurement which could be the basis of the future 'revolution' in understanding the inner workings of Nature. (TC)
What is each of your's favorite work of fiction involving CERN? I personally love the big bang theory. I can offer a free tour of the LHC control room for authors and actors if they come over to Geneva. (gp)
Bruno Arpaia's "Energia del Vuoto' : I have read the original italian not know if it has ever been translated. (TC)
What common misconceptions do people have about your work i.e. black hole makers? What range of qualification and experience do you and your colleagues have? Common misconceptions are the widely advertised black-hole maker thing, but also the fear of us developing new dangerous 'stuff' (the fact that CERN is doing sub- nuclear research adds to the confusion). Another common misconception on the positive side is to think that we might develop the solution to the energy problems of the world. (TC)
What is the most mind-boggling thing you have learned or experienced in your time working there? Diversity of cultures and being able to work with some of the most brilliant minds has been ( and still is after having been at CERN for 28 years) one of the things I consider a unique feature of CERN. (tc)
Do you have any advice for an undergraduate Physics student aspiring to one day work with you at CERN? Sure! Join CERN as a summer student (too late for this year, I fear) but what about 2015? You'll get hands-on at CERN: weeks of lectures in the morning by professionals, hands-on projects within different CERN groups on your favorite subject, and lots of networking and socializing in the evenings. Meet your peers from all over the world. Sign up here.
I'm a physics undergraduate and I'll be making the move to Geneva to work at CERN for a year as a technical student in 2 weeks! I'm extremely excited. Great! That'll be definitely fun! Wheather is sunny 30degC. Hope that stays!
How's the weather over there? (sl)
Im educated in this field nor smart enough to really understand but i'd love to spend a summer there as a 40 year old summer student. Age does not really count. I have just seen a 40yrs old applicant to our Technical Student programme. But you would need to be enlisted with an university...
What is the coolest thing you've ever had the chance to do in your work at CERN (besides smashing particles together, of course)? I love LEGO. When Google came around and was taking footings of the CERN Computer Centre for their Google Streetview, I had a chance to drop a few LEGO minifigs beforehand. Later we made a treasure hunt of it... Was quite fun. If you want to try yourself, go here. If you want to cheat, solutions are here.
How often are you guys able to predict what discoveries you will make? For example, when you found the Higgs Boson there had already been predictions that it would be found at some point in time, as our technology improved. Are there any other examples of less well known, expected, breakthroughs and does the accuracy of these predictions vary from the different areas of research? It is a good question: the way we work is by theorist assembling the information that we , experimentalists, make into models. Such models besides explaining what we have already observed make also predictions which we try to verify ( the HIggs boson is a notable example). In terms of 'how often' this is the most common situation we are dealing in our daily research life.
There are many other questions ( like why there is an obvious asymmetry between matter and antimatter) where the model builders and the experimentalist are trying to bootstrap each other with continous progress in understanding.
And there have been times where experimentalists have surprised the theorists by discovering new particles which nobody had foreseen ( example the tau lepton) (TC)
How close are you to unifying gravity and quantum mechanics? Not very close yet... This is a big area of research, many people are working on it, there have been some progress already but still a lot of work is needed. (nm)
How do you all decide what projects to study and work on? Are you pretty much given free reign? Is it based on budgetary constraints or what could have profitable applications? Is there someone in charge who gets to say "Hey, we should do more research into black holes" or whatever? As theorists, we are free to work on the projects we wish, depending on what we think more interesting or needed. Experimentalists however have also predecided projects to work on depending on the program and preiorities of the collaborations. We also have sometimes common projects between theorists and experimentalists. (nm)
I am a computer science graduate and will complete my masters next year. besides software engineering my other field of interest is physics. what kind of projects do i embrace so i can one day work at CERN with you? Computer science is everywhere at CERN! The massive amounts of data collected by the physics experiment must be filtered, transferred and stored. "Big Data Analytics" is a good start here. High bandwidth networking another. Mass storage (>100PB/year) a third.
Within the CERN openlab we work with third parties on such research --- so if you want to fiddel with hardware come here.
If you love software design, there are lots of opportunities, too: developping applications to run the LHC, to serve our physicist community, etc.
In brief: Make your field of interest a hobby and sign up as a student with CERN! A good master is an excellent start, but hands-on experience you just can get on the job.
I've come to CERN for my master thesis in telecom engineering, as a technical student, I worked on optical links for CMS. I did also my PhD at CERN, in digital microelectronics. now I am hired as an applied physicist and work in the LHC control room. There is a very wide range of options here!
Definitely look at the student programs! (gp)
How strong is the firewall in CERN computer system?Does hacker often try to pringe into CERN sytem? Q: What is the purpose of a firwall? A: To let traffic through. If we don't need to let traffic through, we would cut the cable...
We use a standard firewall configuration to control traffic. As we serve a world-wide community, there are hundreds of computing services open to the Internet: web servers, SSH gateways, Windows Terminal Servers, conference room booking systems, document stores, web mail servers, etc...
Like any other organization worldwide, these are permanently probed for weaknesses. We monitor this activiely and, so far, successful attacks (detected by us ;-) have been rare.
rare. The usual stuff: web site defacements, stealing/collecting credentials, using CERN as a platform to hop further, misusing computing power for Bitcoin mining, ...
Could you give an example of what happened when a hacker succeeded? I can't imagine there's much trouble a hacker could cause for you guys... (sl)
What do you hope to see happen within physics within your lifetimes? Is there a particular piece of the puzzle that you want solved for closure? There are many puzzles! One of the most intriguing ones though is the nature of dark matter. (nm)
What is it like to work at CERN? Schedules, workloads, commutes, social lives, etc? I love working here, the research and the international environment in particular. my schedule is messy when we have beam, as I take shifts in the control room. the rest of the time, it's normal working hours - which sometimes get extended in case of deadlines that come up.
I live, as many others, close by, so commuting is short (10 minutes). this June many of us are doing bike2work - so I biked in today, the weather is beautiful. my personal interests fit in well also. skiing is close by in between Swiss and French Alps, and the Geneva yoga festival is great too.
What are you most excited to see happen in the near future concerning your respective fields of research? I can't wait to see the beam at high energy, early next year. on the accelerator side, we have a few things that might cause issues that we'll have to work on: electron clouds in the beam pipe, Unidentified Falling Objects, beam instabilities, … it'll be fun! (gp)
Finding new particles that could confirm the predictions of the theories I am working on! That will allow us to finally know what is the correct direction to go beyond the Standard Model of particle physics! (nm)
Comic Sans. Why Comic Sans? Because "Arial" sucks, doesn't it?
How much does your electric bill average each month? A figure I heard is that we use ~180MW on a good day… most of it taken by the accelerator complex. (gp)
Is there a secret duplicate LHC, like they did for the machine in the movie Contact, in case some crazy-ass incident occurs? No! (nm)
Whats the process of decieding which particles you smash together? do you just take random shit and throw it together or are there scientific reasonings for it? Concerning the LHC, it was designed to do proton-proton, and lead-lead. then we also did proton-lead, and lead-proton, which is less obvious that what it sounds like.
I guess what I want to say is that it depends on the physics goals.
Whats your favorite part out using scientific linux, or worst part? Btw, pretty cool that cern has adopted linux for research! I take the chance to point to this picture… I'm in it and the captions are not 100% true. (gp)
What impact will funding have on future research? Today's fundamental research is based on tools which require investment (that has always been the case , but in the past this funding was at the level of individual research institutes or of national initiative). Today not even 'continental' investment can cope with the needs of fundamental research. So if we want to progress further there will be need of substantial investment. For example in the last 12 months it has been decided to exploit fully the potential of the LHC accelerator :in order to exploit the potential of the improved accelerator we will need improved detectors. These do not come for free ...
So yes, funding will be essential for fully exploiting what the LHC accelerator can tell us ( and that might be a lot ... as there a lot of unaswered questions like what is dark matter, why is our universe made of matter and so on ) (TC)
So, now you have the higgs. what's next? We have to measure all the Higgs properties as precisely as we can! We also have new models to go beyond the Standard Model of particle physics and there are active searches ongoing at CERN to look for new particles. (nm)
It seems like lots of students are (appropriately) wowed by CERN and go on to pursue advanced degrees in HEP-ex and HEP-th. Do you think there is a real risk of overcrowding the field? The field has been 'regulating' its market since ever: we have statistics showing that less than 40% of the PHDs formed in CERN experiments remain in the Academic/Research world. The rest find quickly their way into the 'outside' world. The main reasons we have identified for the popularity of our students are : not being afraid of trying to solve problems, no matter how difficult, ability to evolve in a multinational/multicultural environment, ability to work in large teams, being exposed to state of the art software/electronic techniques. (TC)
What would make the LHC look like old tech in the near future? I'm guessing not a "larger" one. And don't forget the newest idea: the FCC (gp)
As the group that helped develop the web, what is your opinion on the current issues of Net Neutrality and the NSA's use of the Internet to spy on citizens of the world? Some personal view: The World Wide Web created 25 years ago at CERN (WWW: “Let’s share What We knoW”) provided a global platform and unique opportunity for people to communicate, to collaborate and to share at unprecedented scale and speed. The accessibility and openness of the internet are crucial to enabling new ideas to flourish and compete with the long-standing traditions and to ensure that the evolution of the web continues to proceed at a pace limited only by our ideas. However, with this capability comes considerable responsibility with all of us – whether politicians, lawmakers, scientists or citizens – to preserve an open internet and a free web for the benefit of humankind.
How close are we towards a GUT? Is their some technical aspect holding us back or is it something else? No, I would say we have to verify the GUT model predictions experimentally at the LHC and there are ongoing searches... (nm)
Stefan Lüders, "Head of Computer Security" Actually, I followed a typical CERN career-by-chance. I am educated physicist, turned into control system engineer, investigated security stances of control systems, and then joined the security team with what I learned. Most of the time, I coordinate implementations, provide guidance, and help people to make their products more secure. It's more facilitating and enabling than hard-core security. However, my team consists of white hats who know the techniques much better than I do :-)
I didn't know CERN hired security experts, what does your job entail mostly? For the supa hacka, I would love to learn how he/she would get world domination by hacking into CERN. Sounds like bad reconnaissance...
Also, a more humorous question... are any of you afraid of being hacked by a "supa hacka" who is aware of your schemes and desire for world domination? John Titor 2014. (sl)
Any advice for a high school student trying to get into physics and particle physics in specific? Study hard and keep your eyes open for scholarships (gp)
How long does a test last? And how long between these tests? At the LHC, from a beam dump to the next stable beams it takes at least 2 hours. then we keep the beams in collisions for up to 10-15 hours. then start over. at the experiments, they pack up data from the collisions for years. (gp)
I'm sure you experience work-related pressures and irritations like the rest of us, but you're doing a very special job. Have you ever had a particularly satisfying moment that reminded you, "this is why I work here?" First turn of the beam in the LHC in 2009 - my fifth day on the job. I looked at my boss and whispered: "thanks for hiring me". (gp)
Is there any concept in physics that you look at and think "what the heck is going on here?" Yes ..all the time when confronted with the subtleties of Quantum Mechanics..and every time I dig into it I keep learning more (TC)
What are some (interesting) questions you can't answer? There are many, and that's why we do research! A few examples: how to explain the matter-antimatter asymmetry. Or what is dark matter. Or are there more than 3 quark/lepton families? And many more! (nm)
Please explain what you mean by "dumping the beam when it's depleted". This sounds like something that is required after a jump through hyperspace, and sounds very interesting. The beam gets dumped whenever it is not interesting for physics anymore (and the operators decide to extract it), or whenever anything on the accelerator side goes wrong (and Machine Protection takes care of extracting it automatically).
By means of a special set of magnets, with very fast rise times, the beam gets extracted from the main ring to a special place, the beam dump itself, where it hits a huge block of graphite and scatters its energy.
Last updated: 2014-06-14 10:45 UTC
This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.
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[p0] The best notebook-type program I've ever discovered, OneNote, is only available on Windows

* no good standing desk at hubud * Inka Pen discontinued * Inka pen ink cartridge tip design flaw to impact 
Ongoing collection of problems here:
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[Table] IAmA Owner of MTG Internet Retailer Untapped Games (Also Yu-Gi-Oh & Pokemon TCG)

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-07-14
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
1: can you hook me up with some free yugioh cards? 1: We do give away some free stuff on our monthly facebook contest. There are usually only a couple hundred entrants so you odds are pretty good!
2: How do u deal with potential scammer? Ex: They got the card but say they didnt, card was damaged, etc. 2: It's always a challenge. Large orders have signature confirmation which is usually adequate proof. Large international orders go registered with a physical return receipt. Once things are signed for we are usually fine. Smaller orders we refund sometimes, but if we think it is fraud we will blacklist the buyer.
3: How big of a staff do you keep? 3: There are currently 10 of us including myself. I usually add a couple people before the holidays.
4: What do you think about the future of TCG's? 4: I think the future looks great. It really depends on the game. Right now MTG, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, and Cardfight are all going strong.
What do you, as a card retailer, wish we consumers knew or did differently? 1) I wish more people would buy directly from our site so we can avoid fees that are usually around 10% to 15% of the purchase. Our prices on our site are thus typically lower and we also almost constantly have coupons to save more. We really pass most of the savings on to the customer in the hopes of future direct business! A lot of people do switch to buying direct from us, but even some big buyers don't. Some repeat eBay buyers could have saved hundreds over time if not more just buying direct from us.
2) Pricing. Sometimes people get upset if something is more than retail. We value collectables in real time. Just like any normal person we aren't going to sell a box of Modern Masters for $168. It's especially frustrating because most of our prices are so much lower than retail. We charge only $87.95 for a Magic 2014 booster box pre-order currently when the retail is like $144. Those hot products that go above retail are really how MTG shops make their money to stay in business today. Pricing is determined by the internet.
Have you thought about putting a post card in with the orders with a coupon directing them to the site? I did this and it has been wonderful. Thanks for the suggestion! We do include coupons with every order though :)
If we went directly to your site to buy singles, we would almost always be paying more than if we were to go to and buy from the lowest price on their (which is sometimes you guys). We love selling on TCGPlayer and I think it is a great place to shop especially if you are buying a lot of rarer cards that we might not have every one in stock of.
Our prices on TCGPlayer are already higher than our direct prices though! Plus, we almost always have 10% off coupons that work for standard MTG sets and recent sets from other games! If you enjoy shopping on TCGPlayer though definitely don't stop! Great deals can be found!
M14PREORDER - Save 10% on an order containing only MTG singles with at least one M14 single.
NUMBER10 - Save 10% on an order containing only YuGiOh singles with at least one Number Hunters single.
What is the worst example of you being burnt by speculative investment in a MTG card? What set has been the most popular of all time for you? Which card has been the most popular? Have you ever been lucky with a speculative investment in a card/set? How much did you make? 1) I can't really say we have made any investments in a particular card that turned out so poorly I remember it. MTG is usually pretty safe, but card values obviously fluctuate. 3) Black Lotus seems to be the most well known MTG card, but for what is selling it is often based on our supply. Popular cards from new sets can be hard to keep in stock. We sold out of our pre-order allocation for Archangel of Thune. We were pre-selling them for $13.95 originally and now we sold out, but they were up to $29.95. 4) Every new set is a speculative investment! A lot of the time you have to order product before it is fully revealed. Yu-Gi-Oh is more volatile than MTG. Some sets you make thousands of dollars in profit and other sets you lose thousands of dollars!
I have a small cache of Magic and Pokemon cards in my attic. 1995-2000 highlights like (a few) dual lands, Mox Diamonds, and cards of similar caliber. I also have some non-Charizard 1st edition foils. What's your recommendation on liquidating these and still doing my childhood justice? I agree with Beerblebrox's post below! MTG is enjoyable at any age! If you really don't plan to play ever again though I personally keep a couple of my favorite items from each era of my childhood and that has worked out well! That said I meet a lot of MTG players who play the game quit and then play again. Buying cards and then selling them back to the shop just to buy them again is not good for your wallet!
How do I go about acquiring a whole sale license so I can buy boxes for cheap and circumvent the middleman? To buy Magic: The Gathering product you need to have a brick and mortar store and a sales permit.
As a retailer how do you feel about the reserved list for mtg? We don't have large numbers of older cards, but I think it is a good idea. I don't know if a particular list is required. I just hope that Wizards refrains from reprinting too much. It's really easy to make a massive amount of money quick with good reprints (Modern Masters), but I'm not so sure it is good for the long term.
Yu-Gi-Oh seems to reprint everything and they kind of encourage a culture where vendors can't hold onto product for long because it will devalue. I know vendors who have stopped selling YuGiOh because their inventory would just be constantly devalued and when there are less vendors there are less places to play the game.
I don't know if a particular list is required. I just hope that Wizards refrains from reprinting too much. I'm not sure if they realize what the impact would be. If a card is valuable that card's value is held by the players and stores who own those cards. When they reprint something those cards all go down in value and the value of the reprint mostly just goes to the manufacturer.
Don't mention this over at /MagicTCG. That subreddit tends to want everything to be reprinted so every card is insanely cheap. I'm not doubting players would like MTG to be more affordable. Lowering the price on everything is certainly not what any company is going to want to do though. If Wizards of the Coast pursued an aggressive reprinting policy what would happen is you would have cards at least as expensive as you do now when new sets come out. Then once everyone bought those who could months later they would reprint them and destroy the value of that investment. Personally, I don't think standard is difficult to keep up with if you do some smart trading and play any type of limited format even semi-frequently.
Why is Solar Flare Dragon the greatest Yu-Gi-Oh card ever? 1) Everyone has a favorite!
What's your favorite of the TCGs? 3) I enjoy Magic: The Gathering the best. It is what I played during my childhood and what I still play today. I have played some Pokemon TCG and Yu-Gi-Oh as well and they are both enjoyable games.
How have profits changed in the last decade? Has the popularity dwindled as much as I expect or am I just getting old? 4) A decade ago, I was beginning college and only doing this part time. I didn't realize how good it was. Margins are lower today, but the market is tremendously larger! I think it is much tougher to get into this market than it was years ago and I wouldn't be able to build up to what i have if I had started later (or at least not as easily). If you want to retire early you might want to look for a more profitable career lol. I just love what I do! I don't know why you perceive the popularity as declining. Game popularity changes, but overall the market is strong. Obviously, Pokemon was a fad many years back and it is no where near what it was, but even it is doing solid.
How did you get started in the business? It's hard to say what was really the starting point. It's like a lot of things coming together. My interest in MTG started as early as elementary school and I played (incorrectly) on and off until high school. I used to sometimes sell some cards on eBay and it kind of just grew from there!
I'm considering a career change from kitchens and have been toying with the idea of starting an online re-selling business around one of my hobbies. I considered MTG, lately been revolving around Lego, both being products I'm familiar with. My plan at this stage is to just buy a few sets each of the next release (Lego), sell them individually through eBay and other local online classifieds, then re-invest the proceeds into more sets, using the first few batches to determine how feasible this will be and to not sink too much money into a pipe dream. 3) I'm slightly OCD when it comes to collectables, always thought that if I were in the Magic business I'd keep one of each card that passed through my hands, keep the first black lotus, sell the second on. How extensive is your personal collection? 1) I pretty much started my business in high school selling cards I traded for. I just did it on eBay and it was profitable immediately, but it was pretty much just like a small allowance of $10 or $20 per week. 2) If you plan to just sell on Ebay I think it is pretty easy if you can compete on pricing. I know that it would be very difficult for me to start my business as it is today. For MTG you need to have a brick and mortar store to buy from wholesalers, so I think you would have to stick with legos if you are considering just selling new product. It might be difficult to compete too. I'm able to buy product for good prices from distributors because I buy a large volume. They also know I'm likely to do future business since I have a history of selling the types of items I do. I don't think someone would be able to offer to buy the same volume and get the same price without that history. 3) That's a dangerous attitude to have lol. You want to make sure you sell the product that runs your business. I don't have any personal collection except my decks which I sell back to my business when I'm done with them.
What is my Fog of Gnats card worth? Lol.
What us the most expensive purchase someone has made on your site? I'm not sure the most expensive purchase, but we regularly have people who buy about $1000 worth of cards when a new set comes out. It is especially true for YuGiOh where we have a lot of Japanese customers. I suspect they are probably vendors who sell the cards themselves in Japan.
Do you feel like there are more Magic players nowadays than ever before? I've been a casual player for the past 5 years and rarely go into a store anymore but I read the other day that the number of MTG players tripled since Shards of Alara. Do you feel like it? The growth has been incredible. I'm not sure how to measure the number of MTG players there are, but I wouldn't be surprised if tournament attendance was at least 3 times what it was during Shards of Alara. Our online sales have definitely at least doubled in the past 3 years.
In my local area; I moved to Providence, RI in 2006 and there were no shops I could find that had tournaments in the immediate local area. Now my shop exists and there are at least 4 other MTG retailers running tournaments within 10 miles.
Hows business? Business is good this year! MTG, Yu-Gi-Oh, Cardfight, and Pokemon are all doing fantastic.
How do you feel about some of the best card games out right now (Netrunner, AGOT, Star Wars) being LCGs. Do you think the living format is the future of card games and have you seen a shift in costumers from big money games like mtg to fixed priced games? I thing CCGs are here to stay. I haven't noticed anyone who has quit MTG, YuGiOh, Pokemon, or Cardfight Vanguard specifically to instead play an LCG. I definitely think there is a place in the market for them especially on a less hardcore level.
I think that the formula for CCG's is more profitable for manufacturers. I can't imagine any LCG bringing in the revenue per player to have the development budget that MTG has. I also think the luck aspect of opening boosters and the ability to trade cards has appeal to many players especially younger ones.
Could you take a guess at what most of your buyers are like? Do you see more younger or older people, male vs. female? It really depends on the game. Being a seller specifically of TCG's we probably reach a different audience than say Walmart does when they sell cards. YuGiOh and Pokemon both have tournaments scenes that even attract a lot of college aged adults. Obviously, a lot of our sales for those two games are to kids as well. Most MTG players we see in our shop are adults in their 20s or older, but there are still a lot of kids who come play that too! MTG has just been around a while and people have stuck with it over the years!
Most players in tournaments are male, but I think people often underestimate the number of female gamers. They just tend to not come to tournaments as much.
When selling booster packs, do you do any tricks to figure out what's in them (look at them through bright light, analyzing the pack/booster box product id, etc.) to figure out if it has an expensive rare? No. That would just result in negative feedback and unhappy customers. We are in the business for the long term and aren't shutting down our site to make a new one or remaking eBay accounts every month. When we have cards we don't need from new sets we make booster box repacks...
YuGiOh Lord of Tachyon Galaxy Booster Box Repack
MTG Avacyn Restored Booster Box Repack
Although you aren't going to get any $10 cards in these they are popular, especially for MTG where you can use them to draft for less than $3 per person (depending on the set).
Has anyone tried to buy a bulk amount of seemingly bad cards like Wood Elemental? How about Tibalt? Our site has a maximum quantity people are allowed to buy of any particular card, but it is not uncommon for people to amass collections of one bad card as a hobby or because they like the artist. I have met many players who just pick a card and try to get as many copies of it as they can!
If I'm looking to open my own Magic: The Gathering brick and mortar store in the near future, what are the most important variables to consider? How important are online sales in keeping the doors to your store open? Location and having a friendly sociable person at the counter are both extremely important. I think there is a lot of luck involved! How much money you need depends on how you live and probably where you are opening. I don't want to hypothesize on a number because we didn't really start from scratch since we had a strong online operation before opening our brick and mortar store.
Our online sales are absolutely vital to keeping our normal store open the way we have it set up now. However, there are many shops that have great tournament organizers and are quite profitable without online operations. Just my skill is really in the online market and I treat our store like a community establishment. I honestly don't try to make money off it. If it does make a lot of money one day that would be great, but I just want people to have a fun and comfortable place to play!
What's the best way to get back into MTG? I've been out of the scene for about 9 years, and it seems like it's changed drastically since then. The core game is still the same! It depends on what format you want to play and how much you know, but the Duals of the Planeswalkers 2014 video game has an excellent tutorial on how to play!
Other than that you can easily find out about recent happenings on different forums like MTG Salvation, Wizards of the Coast's own forums, and even here on Reddit!
If you want physical product, the upcoming M14 Core Set that releases on July 19th is probably a simple start. I personally think something like a M14 fat pack is a good choice because you get some basic lands, a life counter, and a nice box to put some cards/decks in.
How do you see the recent developments in online card games? Magic 2014, Blizzard's Heartstone to name the one's I know. The free to play model works extremely well for them and their execution is AAA. Do think they will impact your business negatively? Are you preparing to move into online trading? I actually was initially worried that these types of games would eat into our business, but it turned out to be the opposite. A lot of people play games like Duals of the Planeswalkers 2014 and then start playing MTG for real. I think DotP 2014 is a great way to learn the game, but being in a room with real people I think that is social experience that online TCG's can't replicate yet and I don't see them doing in my future as a vendor. Online TCGs keep getting better, but they have been around for years and the physical TCG industry has continued to grow tremendously. As someone mentioned below MTG just had their biggest tournament yet! Even with Hearthstone, when it was revealed our limited remaining inventory of World of Warcraft card sales skyrocketed.
There is certainly a market for online trading and we have thought about it, but haven't taken any action yet.
What are your thoughts on the World of Warcraft TCG? You don't claim to carry it, so I'm curious if there's a reason or something. I played it a bit and think it is a fine game, but it definitely does not have an extremely large hardcore following and its popularity seems to be directly derived from how well the video game is doing.
The card game was initially very popular when it came out, but even then people were buying it for code cards to unlock stuff in the video game primarily. Now, there are many unlockables in WoW through different means, so there is not as much interest in buying packs of the TCG for codes. Since Cryptozoic has taken over the game they seem to be trying to build a strong gaming community so perhaps that will help, but for now we are at max capacity selling other games.
How is your relationship with other MTG retailers? Are you a large TO as well? Although we are all competitors I think most MTG retailers get along pretty well. I do a lot of business with other vendors, so we certainly help each other as well as compete.
On a local level, the Providence, RI area has a great TCG gaming scene and I think a lot of that has to do with the wide selection of shops. There really is a place for gamers of every type! I think all the events and happenings have really led to growth in the gaming scene in the area. I don't know how much better or worse it would be for us if our competition wasn't there. However, I do believe the gaming scene would be much smaller.
We aren't a large TO presently, but maybe one day! Our core business is currently online and just revenue wise it is hard to imagine our physical location could ever come close. Our online site sells all over the world! That said our physical store might be expanding soon!
Do you have / have you ever considered a "deck-building" feature on your website where customers can build a deck made of singles and then be given a quote on the price for it? I always felt like that would be useful when I played TCG's some 7 or 8 years ago. That sounds like a great idea! We have a feature called deck builder which essentially lets you search a list of cards, but it doesn't automatically give you a total for all of them. I may check and see if we could implement a feature that does!
Are you moving a lot of Modern staples right now (fetch lands, Dark Confidant, Tarmogoyf, Vendilion Clique, Thoughtseize, etc.)? How does the demand for these staples compare with prior years? 1) Those cards all sell out pretty quick when we get them in. I would say Modern as a format is more popular than ever and that the release of Modern Masters really boosted it.
How has the release of Modern Masters impacted your business? 2) Modern Masters is extremely popular, but was tightly allocated. We didn't receive an extremely large amount. However, I'm sure our return on our investment is higher than any other MTG new release. It's intense popularly I think did reduce demand for Dragon's Maze and possibly M14 though.
What game is most profitable in single sales? 1) I wouldn't say there is a wide deviation between them typically as we buy single restocks on the secondary market using similar buy pricing. Each new set is a different story. For YuGiOh, I at least doubled our investment on Legendary Collection 2, but then I probably lost half of our investment if not more on Hidden Arsenal 5.
Have you done anything with kaijudo (new version of duel masters)? 2) I have researched it quite a bit, but Cardfight Vanguard was getting big at the same time as Kaijudo was being pushed to me. Cardfight seemed like a better way to expand, so we decided to invest more in that instead. I don't notice much demand at our local physical shop for Kaijudo, but most of the kids who come in are 12+, while Kaijudo packs say 8+ on them.
Do you play yugioh? 3) I have played it to learn how to play. Honestly, I didn't expect it to be as deep, strategic, and fun as it was. However, I already am more of an MTG player and mostly stick to that.
Personally, do you love the pokemon games? I do enjoy the Pokemon games. I played a ton of Pokemon Blue & Red years ago. I feel like they continue to refine them, but they don't hold my interest as long anymore. I played a bit of Pokemon Black & White, but the formula just isn't as fresh and exciting as it was to me back in Blue & Red.
What is the single most expensive card you have sold? We don't carry many of the older extremely valuable MTG cards, but we do sometimes acquire and sell cards in the $200 to $300 range.
What advice would you have for someone who is looking to start playing Magic but has no idea how to play? Download Duels of the Planeswalkers 2014! It has a great tutorial!
You guys run a fun weekly draft, just wanted to say thanks. (You are the ones in Providence RI, right?) Technically, our tournament area is right over the border in Pawtucket! We do run weekly Thursday night drafts at 7:00 PM though!
(1) Is there any sort of format that you can see being "the future of card games" ? For instance, since Magic was the first game, it seems we're moving away from power creep to a more balanced card game, but is there going to be another progression from this? 1) I think the internet and game communities are shaping the future heavily and will continue to do so. I wouldn't be surprised if MTG picks up more officially supported formats like EDH as people create new ideas.
(2) Do you think more games like The Penny-Arcade board/card games will ever take over sales due to their cheaper price? 2) I think there is a place in the market for these, but I don't think people are going to quit MTG to play them and MTG is not really difficult or expensive to get into on a casual level. I also think MTG's huge revenue at this point gives it a very healthy development budget that keeps the game continually fresh,exciting, and balanced.
(3) Is there any card game that you loved and wanted to see successful? I miss Magination, personally. 3) I pretty much grew up playing MTG so it is the game I like. As a kid I used to enjoy Overpower and I'm kind of sad that didn't work out. I haven't played as an adult, but I'm guessing it wasn't as strong of a TCG.
I have read that a brick-and-mortar storefront is a requirement of ordering booster boxes at wholesale prices. How do you operate around this? You can't! We have a brick and mortar store! Come visit us! Learn about our store HERE!
Worst customer you have ever had to deal with? Are all your orders in the US, I live in the uk and have barely seen card games existing. The worst customers don't always have the biggest problems. It's really how they interact with my people.
Recently, we had one guy buy a bunch of YuGiOh packs and before they got there he requested to return them. We told him that was fine as long as they were still sealed. He ended up opening the packs though and then still wanted to return them, which obviously is a no go in a collectable card game with cards of different values and rarities. These types of problems happen every so often, but it was really how he was just screaming and swearing at my employee for not wanting to take back his open product. If people treat my people badly I'm less inclined to help them out.
We sell all over the world. We definitely ship some orders to the UK, but most of of our customers are in the United States. We don't send enough shipments there to have a set idea of how big a market it is.
Do you feel like video games an online games based off TCGs have or could have a threat toward the sale of the physical product? Someone below had a similar question... Here is my response from that...
I actually was initially worried that these types of games would eat into our business, but it turned out to be the opposite. A lot of people play games like Duals of the Planeswalkers 2014 and then start playing MTG for real. I think DotP 2014 is a great way to learn the game, but being in a room with real people I think that is social experience that online TCG's can't replicate yet and I don't see them doing in my future as a vendor. Online TCGs keep getting better, but they have been around for years and the physical TCG industry has continued to grow tremendously. As someone mentioned below MTG just had their biggest tournament yet! Even with Hearthstone, when it was revealed our limited remaining inventory of World of Warcraft card sales skyrocketed.
How much do you take out of you booster box repacks? They look like a good deal but i wouldn't want to purchase one and get nothing but 50 cent or lower cards. You get a lot of great commons, uncommons, and bulk rares from the set of the repack! However, you probably aren't going to find many if much if anything worth more than $1. That is what you should assume you will receive. However, we do make most of the repacks when the sets come out so if cards change in value later it might be possible to snag some good cards. I know we had some Craterhoof Behemoths in the Avacyn Restored booster box repacks because it wasn't a valuable card when the set came out, but then it skyrocketed to over $20 for a little while before coming back down. That kind of price movement is uncommon though and you shouldn't buy expecting to receive anything like that.
Is your staff local based or do you hire people online as well? All of my staff is local, but we do utilize many services from other companies that have employees elsewhere. It is certainly possible for us to hire a non-locally based employee, but for coordination and communication it's a lot easier to have everyone in one place. I have noticed even when people have jobs that can be done at home it is still good to have everyone in one place. This way if our e-mail customer service rep finds out someone needs a refund they can just say 'Hey, John Doe needs a refund' directly to the person in charge of refunds and etc.
Do girls look hotter in yoga pants or jeans? I think it depends on the girl!
Magic the gathering online exchange (mtgox) switched to Bitcoin a few years ago, and have made millions. Are you miffed that you didn't get into Bitcoin too? Lol, I actually didn't know that. I don't know near enough about bit coins to have done anything like that and I'm certainly not miffed! It's great that they had the foresight to see that opportunity!
Do you ever open any of the packs yourself and what kind of cards do you collect personally? When new sets come out it can be pretty busy and I often help open packs myself! I play MTG, but don't really have a separate collection from my store inventory.
Did you ever sell mechwarrior clicks? I LOVED the game, but it didn't catch on very well :( Sorry, we pretty much concentrate on trading card games! I dabbled in some Warhammer minis a few years ago and we do sell a small amount of HeroClix.
Do you have a buy list and do you buy bulk cards, i got yu-gi-oh cards i wanna unload, the coolest card is properly an original left arm of the forbidden one, and most of the cards are first edition if that matters? Our buy list is here. We do buy bulk cards! We mostly concentrate on newer sets though for singles!
I noticed that you haven't updated prices on fetchlands in quite some time. But then, you also appear to be out of stock on them all. Were you caught unaware by the price spike, and was your stock bought out? There was no specific price spike that caught us by surprise. We just mostly concentrate on standard cards. The fetch lands are in sets that aren't on our buy list, so we don't get restocked. Most popular cards on our site would sell out within a couple weeks if were weren't constantly restocking them. We open hundreds of boxes per month and probably receive even more singles from people selling to us through our buy list! I'm hoping to expand our buy list into all modern sets very soon though!
Last updated: 2013-07-18 23:00 UTC
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